[LostInLA]

I can't control myself and I tend to lurk on my ex's facebook. It's not an every day occurrence but maybe more like 2-3 times a week.

It's so pointless! What am I looking for? I look at his page to see what's going on...and his new gf's page and I'm just keeping myself in this cycle!

I want to move past this lurking thing. UGH!!!!

Of course I'm hoping that they break up, not because I want him back but why should he get to be so happy right now when I'm so miserable?

I know I'm whining here and I would be better off putting energy into other things but I feel like this is my one little weakness and I need to stop!

[Exit]

I still do this too. Both of their pages are private but I check to see if they change their pictures. I thought for sure they'd have some new happy pictures from Halloween parties or something like that so I had to check. The last time I caught myself doing it, I reminded myself that some day I'll look and probably see something that's just going to hurt, so why keep going. Hopefully I can stop.

[Ronni_W]

Originally Posted by LostInLA

I know I'm whining here and I would be better off putting energy into other things but I feel like this is my one little weakness and I need to stop!

I get your self-frustration at what you're perceiving as a weakness.
At the same time, there is ALSO healing available if you stopped beating-up on yourself for giving in to this "weakness". Sort of, if you accept instead of resist that, for right now, you're checking their Facebook pages 2 or 3 times a week...then that will interrupt some of the negativity around it and free up some of the energy that you're expending on your resisting. (If that makes sense?)

You could also structure checking their pages as that'll at least give you back some control over it. If you want to check it 3 times a week, schedule it; put it down on your calendar. And reduce the frequency according to your own needs and desires, until you no longer need to check it at all.

It may sound ass-backwards. But you're checking their pages anyway...so it's really just about finding ways to do that WITHOUT all the guilt and self-loathing.

[LostInLA]

I just wish I was at the point where I don't care anymore, don't care enough to lurk...there's no point for me when I do it. Blah .

[rickigal]

I do the same thing...he still has a photo of me and him up there. I removed my tag from it but he hasn't removed his. I know I will go one day and it will be gone and there will be a new girl up there. And it will sting a lot. I don't do it as much as I used to. I should just block him. Good idea Erika! I'll do that tomorrow...

Anyway, we are all guilty of this kind of thing. Don't beat yourself up over it. We are human and we have feelings and compulsions.

[McGrupp]

you should not do this. i deleted mine. she deleted hers. no more pics.

thats how u know its serious

[Exit]

Blah...yeah... depressed at 4am and I was snooping again. Just got hurt by looking at pictures. Nothing even involving her, just a new picture on his page and comparing myself to him. Dunno why I do this.

[GrayClouds]

Originally Posted by LostInLA

I just wish I was at the point where I don't care anymore, don't care enough to lurk.

You would get to that point sooner if you would stop checking, Your feelings change when your actions change.