Broke NC and........

ladymistique · 4th November 2009, 11:20 PM

I don't think that I care about him like that anymore. Now, I highly recommend people on NC to keep going but I found my personal experience to be very interesting. In NC, I remembered the way I did when I was in love with him and when I actually spoke to him, it was nice and pleasant. But I didn't feel an emotional connection to him anymore. And afterwards, I thought of him less than I did when I was in NC. Now I am not going to push my luck........ with more interactions, it is likely I would fall for him again. So I am back in NC but with this time, I am not feeling the loss and analyzing things over and over.

NoneoftheAbove · 4th November 2009, 11:32 PM

I feel the same way.Glad you are on the right track, keep up the good work. Best wishes

ladymistique · 4th November 2009, 11:38 PM

Thanks noneoftheabove. Best wishes to you too

.

NoneoftheAbove · 4th November 2009, 11:47 PM

Thank you im gonna need it

bluestraps · 4th November 2009, 11:47 PM

Hey there... lady M.If it works for you then you are in a good place right now. Im going to break NC. I'm going to send my ex a card for her birthday. I'll for sure be getting a message from her but it may not be very pleasant.

GrayClouds · 5th November 2009, 1:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluestraps

Hey there... lady M.If it works for you then you are in a good place right now. Im going to break NC. I'm going to send my ex a card for her birthday. I'll for sure be getting a message from her but it may not be very pleasant.

Then why do it?????????????????????????????????????? I can send you and unpleasant message and you can save the money on a birthday card.

Talk about self inflicted pain...

Lost&Found · 5th November 2009, 2:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluestraps

Hey there... lady M.If it works for you then you are in a good place right now. Im going to break NC. I'm going to send my ex a card for her birthday. I'll for sure be getting a message from her but it may not be very pleasant.

Ouch! I've done that one before - not good! I did that once to an ex, she broke up with me, I went crazy trying to get her back for about a month. Went NC for 7 months, then sent her a birthday card. A birthday card with a bunch of meaningless crap I wrote to her. Saw her a few months later for an awkward "Hello, how was your summer?" while she wouldn't even make eye contact. Felt like an idiot ever since. Never talked to her again after that (happened in 1990). Not good at all.

Oh wait - the never talking to her again was a good thing come to think of it.

ladymistique · 5th November 2009, 4:32 PM

Lol, Lost&Found. That's funny

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ladymistique · 5th November 2009, 4:26 PM

Hey bluestraps, I'm in a good place now but you know how these break-ups things go.... one minute you're elated you're free, the next you're sobbing about how you'll never meet someone like that again. I am happy that my emotions are on a more even keel and less intense but like I said, I won't push my luck. I'm becoming very protective of my healing these days

.

I have to say I agree with GrayClouds here: Why extend a nice gesture when you are fairly sure you're just going to catch hell for it? I know the polite thing to do to wish her a happy birthday but it sure isn't the healthy thing. One of my favorite songs is called "Protect ya neck". The same principle applies in breakups, the last thing you should do is put your neck out there.

I know this is hypocritical of me to say seeing as I too broke NC but I escaped unscathed.... this time. I just don't want you to feel crappy when you were only being gracious, y'know?