Hi
So for anyone, MM, MW, BS, OW or OM...how do you handle the physical,, intimate part...fear of diseases, worries the person you are with is perhaps with other partners, etc?
For MM and MW who cheat, OW...what measures do you take to protect yourself from STD's, aids, herpes anything? I am just curious how loose people are about this...I am not, I am scared, careful, etc
When i would see my exMM i made sure he got aids test, etc before I would be with him. So, are people trusting enough to assume your OW OM, or A is being upfront and truthful with you?
I mean we can never really know where someone has been..there has to be a certain level of trust or I guess we could all wear full body condoms and be safe and secure...and scary strange, lol.
Since I was with an exMM i did not trust that he was only with me, I assumed he had other women at other points in his marriage/separation. I just did not believe i was the only OW...still dont
affairs suck, cheating sucks...lets all just be celibate nuns..lol...ha ha joke joke
lfmm
My MM and I got tested before we ever had sex. I didn't know yet about his W. I guess though it is stupid that we do not use protection, hiw W could have an OM for all I know. ...
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Attempt not to deceive the god with thy mortal lips. Peer deep within thyself, and ask not questions to which thou already knowest the answer, seek not advice which thou dost not intend to obey.
Hi
So for anyone, MM, MW, BS, OW or OM...how do you handle the physical,, intimate part...fear of diseases, worries the person you are with is perhaps with other partners, etc?
Initially, I had many lovers and assumed he had more than just me (him being M) and as a result was very dilligent about safer sex, regular testing etc. But over time I shed my others since he was just on a different scale, and discovered that he had long jettisoned the charade of intimacy with his then-W and was completely exclusive with me - despite knowing I had (had) others. Once we discovered that we were both being exclusive, after reasonable window periods and further testing, we relaxed our precautions with each other.
For political reasons I continue to test, and continue to advocate that everyone, whether in monogamous Rs or not, does so too.
How do you handle the physical,, intimate part...fear of diseases, worries the person you are with is perhaps with other partners, etc…So, are people trusting enough to assume your OW OM, or A is being upfront and truthful with you?
I have to admit, my MM and I have not been safe at all. I had a bf (now ex) when we met. MM asked if I was only sleeping with my bf (which I was) and said he was only sleeping with his W. When he asked I could tell he was really concerned. I believe him. However, it was after we had sex. We actually had sex the night after we met. I brought a condom with me (he didn’t) that we attempted to use, but he couldn’t stay hard so we ditched it. That was the only attempted we made in 5yrs to be safe/protected. I was really surprised he wasn’t safer. I mean I wasn’t either, but with him being M for 10yrs at the time and his job (they have full routine examinations) I assumed chance was he was “safe”. He didn’t know a thing about me either. I could’ve been a hooker for all he knew. I assume he thought if my bf (whom he met briefly once the same day) was f*cking me, it must be okay). We actually are even more reckless now because after years of being together he will c*m in me when we think it’s safe. We’ve never discussed the “what ifs..?” I don’t want a baby, and I’m sure it wouldn’t go over to well for him at home either. “Honey, I’m home. And I got my mistress pregnant.” I don’t know why we even take that risk.
MM and I had an EA for 9 months before it turned into a PA. We had both been in long term monogamous relationships for many years prior to our EMR. MM told me of every sex partner he had ever had. I trusted him since he was someone I had also known prior in life. He had however not taken any STD tests. I had taken the full chart of STD tests. I had been tested for HIV just one month prior to our first instance of PA.
We did not use protection. Later it turned out that my SO had had an affair behind my back the year before - without protection and without checking for STDs.
So I got tested again, my SO did too - we were both negative.
Still, it felt bad that I had reassured MM that my SO and I always told of any infidelities, and that this turned out to not be true.
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Unapologetic Other Woman
True chemistry is hard to find, if you do find it hold on to it! (White Flower)
I don't use any protection with my MW. We did a couple of times at the start, but then we just kind of said screw it. We met for "lunch" one day and neither of us had one, so we rode bare back. Afterwards, we talked about it and I told her that I would make sure I had one next time... she said no, she liked it without the condom and it felt more intimate that way. That surprised me quite a bit, because I remembered her telling me before we even started having sex that her husband wore condoms because it let him last longer.
We had known each other for years before we had sex and I trusted her regarding diseases, plus she can't get pregnant.
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