[seychelles]

I need you guys' opinions, especially if you have been in this kind of situation:

At some point in your life you wanted really bad to date other people or just to have sexual relationships with new and different people. You felt like you needed to get out there and test the waters or experience something new. Were you in a relationship when you had this feeling (the itch) or were you not in a relationship? How did it feel afterwards -- after you had experienced other people. Was it satisfying, was it worth it?

[USMCHokie]

Ummm...that feeling would be right now...three and a half months after I broke up with the "love of my life" back then...and I'm still working on it...so I'll have to report back to you...

But I'm in no hurry to get there...I'm filling that void in my life with myself...and I'm doing alright...

[tryagaintoday]

I was like that after I'd broken up. Sleeping with many ppl, flirting with many ppl. I don't really like it. But to each his own....

[lilbelle]

In every relationship I looked but I never went there. For the last 8 months in my marriage I dated over 20 men, didn't sleep with any of them. It's not that I wasn't physically attracted I just couldn't do it. At the last month of the divorce I slept with 3 men. It wasn't worth it. The last man is the one that has brought me here, and the one who stole my heart. i don't recommend it. take your time.

[JaggedRoad]

This is what I've heard:

"First you'll have sex, lots of it. It's fun for a while, and then you feel empty. Really empty."

[seychelles]

Originally Posted by JaggedRoad

This is what I've heard:

"First you'll have sex, lots of it. It's fun for a while, and then you feel empty. Really empty."

JaggedRoad: why does one feel empty inside? because it was all meaningless?

I should've added this to my original post, but the reason why I ask this question is because my ex and I just recently broke up 3 months ago because he feels like he has to chase game and experience other people. He's very vain, he knows he looks good and other girls look at him and he has this mentality that it won't be hard to get them. I feel that of all the reasons for us to break up (we had been together for three years and have been engaged), why does it have to be some dumb reason such as "I want to be with other girls because I know I'll satisfy them and I need that satisfaction."
I asked my original question because I want to know how he would feel after he's experienced other girls.

[JaggedRoad]

Yes, the emptiness comes from the meaningless sex.

You're right about him being vain. I honestly cannot tell you why he gave you that reason or how he would feel because I haven't been in his shoes, but it seems like he doesn't appreciate you anymore. He probably wants to try everyone out before being "stuck" with "one hole." Pardon my language, but that's how some guys think.

[lostmirthfulness]

Well its been about a month and 2 weeks or so since my GF left me. Shes moved on. We had four years together and my presence would annoy her new boyfriend, so I sit here as our relationship had run its corse, but I wasn't done with the friendship.

But after four years - 3 of which I thought I would marry the girl in and was working towards that, I can honestly say, yes I am horny and yes I want sex, but I also know that it has the potential to make me feel worse. I've started dating again, been out a couple times with some attractive ladies, but I understand that I am not over my ex yet. It doesn't feel right to be thinking about sex with somebody else, when for the last 3 years, I thought I had found the one person I was going to have sex with for the rest of my life.

[McGrupp]

i had some meaningless unemotional sex last week. it sucked and i didnt even think about it for some days.

plus i made her turn around and just imagined my ex. not good for anyone.

btw i was the one who was dumped. she might be having great sex without thinking about me.

[GrayClouds]

Originally Posted by seychelles

JaggedRoad: why does one feel empty inside? because it was all meaningless?

I should've added this to my original post, but the reason why I ask this question is because my ex and I just recently broke up 3 months ago because he feels like he has to chase game and experience other people. He's very vain, he knows he looks good and other girls look at him and he has this mentality that it won't be hard to get them. I feel that of all the reasons for us to break up (we had been together for three years and have been engaged), why does it have to be some dumb reason such as "I want to be with other girls because I know I'll satisfy them and I need that satisfaction."
I asked my original question because I want to know how he would feel after he's experienced other girls.

Sorry to say, he is likely to feel great. There are a good dieal of individuals how find that self esteem is highly connected to the conquest and sex is the proof. They get a rush from it until it gets boring and then on to the next conquest. Sex is not about building emotional intimacy but creating feelings of power and control. Real intimacy is boring, or worst, creates feeling of inadequacy and weakness so they turn to physical sex to get the allusion of intimacy.

His statement may sound dumb..."I want to be with other girls because I know I'll satisfy them and I need that satisfaction." But in fact it reveals much of what I state. It is not hard to read into that statement that he feels the constant need to prove his manliness. That being with just one women and making her happy does not give him enough confidence. He needs to prove it by level of quantity vs quality.

You also said he is very vain. (Why would you want to be with someone like that?). Is is becouse of his good looks? If mostly it is then it reinforces the point that to him external gratification is more important then internal satisfaction. Hence emotion intimcy is valued less then expternal proof of worth, as in many sex partners.

For you this is a wonederful insight to what you want and need. If you do not shair his perspective that tell you in the future you need to look for a partner that share your value of emotional intimacy. If that is the case consicer yourself lucky you have learn this now.