Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
Ok so I am so ashamed about hat I'm about to say but I NEED advice!
So my friend started dating this guy, he went to our highschool and I was uncharacteristically attracted to him now. In fact my friend wasn't very into him until I mentioned how hot he was. After that she started being real in to him. I didn't want to sy anything to her about me being attracted in morethab one way to him cause I didn't want to hurt her. I tried to hide my feelings hut he was very friendly and one night I got drunk and told him how I was jealous of her an how hot he was. We weren't even near eachother and nothing happened, I just told him she was lucky. Things escelated from there. Soon he was texting me "friendly" messages when he came in town to get ogrther and go out when his gf/my friend was at work. I always wrote back sure but nver hung out with him alone. Then my friend started getting tired of him. One night we had nothing to do and my friend encouraged me to take him out so me him and my friend and her bf went up the road to a local bar and had a few drinks. We decded we didn't want to end the night so we went to my frends apartment with her bf and opened up some wine, we got the bright idea to go swimming in the hot tub. I don't know what I was thinking! Of course the wine and the hot tub had me and my 1st friends bf very close and flirty. I don't think we did anything in front ofthe other couple but after we left he parked in front of my house and we started kissing. He was very aggressive and eventually was declothing me and starting rubbing me everywhere. He got on top of me after I told him no numerous times but it just felt so good, he tried to have sex and I flipped out. I told him wr couldn't do that to my friend/his gf. After that we stopped talking. Eventually my friend got wind that we possibly kissed, she confronted me and I lied and said we just flirted. I got him to lie as well. Just recently we realized that our other room mate was talking to him still. My friend just told me shenknew the truth and claimed that he told her everything. She knew details. I asked him why gentile her and he said that he never talked to her. I suspect that he told our room matr and that because we were fighting she went and told my best fiend. I don't know war to do! I would never do that again, I have felt horrible ever since. She has a new and wonderful bf and I don't want to hurt her. Should I do the right thing and tell her and risk her (understandably) hate me and I lose my best friend, or should I continue to lie and have her think it was a misunderstanding and keep her friendship? I know I was wrong, and am a horrible friend for doing that but I feel like I make it up in ever other area. My main thing is I don't want her to suffer. I know I deserve to. So do I lie and maintain our good frendship or do I tell her and risk it? I know people sy they want to know but in this circumstance when she is completely over the guy and has a new great bf, would it do any good for her to know? Please help!!
Complicated situation. The fact that he tried to have sex with you after you kept telling him no is already telling he's worthless as a boyfriend which means he will keep doing it again, if not with you with other girls.. Who knows, how long he's been cheating on your friend..
If there was no way of your friend finding out then I would have said don't tell and to stay away from that loser. But since she already confronted you then you would have to tell her and be honest about it. Tell her too about the part you said no multiple times when he tried to have sex with you. Yes she might cut you from your friendship. If so, then it would be wise to let her have her space and cool down. All you can do is wait for her to eventually still want to talk to you but you would at the same time be doing her a favor in exposing that loser....
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Don't live your life with regrets but live your life to the fullest......
She's moved on. He's out of the picture. All you are going to do is cause pain to the people you supposedly care about, if you open your mouth.
Consider it a bit of life experience you don't want to repeat. Keeping quiet and feeling guilty are your punishment for indulging.
As long as you recognize you made a mistake and own it - I don't see the problem remaining friends with her. It isn't uncommon for people to pass around boyfriends/girlfriends (ie dating a few people within a group over time) when they are younger. With you there was an overlap on dates - oops. Don't do it again. Lesson learned.
But if it comes up, don't lie about it. Just give next to no details and say it was a huge mistake and he was kinda pushy....
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You should have told her the truth when she confronted you, but now that she's with someone new, and has moved on, you should too about the guy.
Take it as a lesson to never get involved with a friend's bf and you should count yourself lucky that you still have your firned.
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"To regret one's own experiences is to arrest one's own development. To deny one's own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one's own life. It is no less than a denial of the soul.", De Pronfundis, Wilde
Op, the only problem you have is that she know's something happened, she just doesn't know exactly what or how bad it was. If you continue to not tell her and somebody else does, then she will be twice as mad, because you not only cheated with her BF, but lied to her repeatedly as well. In my experience, things like this will almost always come out.
Op, the only problem you have is that she know's something happened, she just doesn't know exactly what or how bad it was. If you continue to not tell her and somebody else does, then she will be twice as mad, because you not only cheated with her BF, but lied to her repeatedly as well. In my experience, things like this will almost always come out.
There's threads and threads that are proof of this. And yet, so many people always recommend continuing to lie.
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I betrayed my best friend
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