So I was at the movies yesterady a girl and a few guys were sitting in the row in front of us. As she was about to sit down, she looked at me for about 3-5 seconds. This made me think about how this has happened to me before. Is this a good or a bad thing? Someone once said to me "If a girl is making it obvious she is look at you, it is bad." This true?
So I was at the movies yesterady a girl and a few guys were sitting in the row in front of us. As she was about to sit down, she looked at me for about 3-5 seconds. This made me think about how this has happened to me before. Is this a good or a bad thing? Someone once said to me "If a girl is making it obvious she is look at you, it is bad." This true?
I think whoever told you that is just flat wrong.
I definitely would take strong eye contact as an invitation to say hi.
just ask someone out already! As a female, if someone asks me out or tries to chat me up I'm flattered. I refuse because I have a boyfriend, but not once in my life have I thought any less of a guy for asking me out, infact I think it takes balls and they go up in my estimation for having the guts to do it.
Lines dont work... Like" hey baby" I like the.... my name is__________ Or the "I thought you look very nice today". Maybe compliment the girl on her hair or outfit. Can someone else help me here?
You guys are way overthinking the convo starters. For chrissakes, just talk about the weather. And like if it's raining and you say something about that and she says that at least it's good for the plants, you can take that as a sign that she likes gardening and can turn the subject that way and thus keep talking. You don't need a drop dead opening line--you just need to say something. The advantage of that is that it seems more natural. Think of it this way--you've come up with the perfect opener, but while you were thinking of it the moment passed, or when you say it, it comes out wrong, or it strikes her as too contrived or . . . well you get the picture.
If despite your best efforts you can't get a convo going, you can attribute it to one of these things: 1. She's even shyer than you are 2. she's got a boyfriend already 3. She's gay 4. She's getting over a previous relationship and not ready to date yet. 5. She's in the middle of a big project that she put off until the last minute and simply can't talk. Do not assume that she's not interested, which may be true sometimes, but may not be. The reason you shouldn't do that is b/c it will destroy your confidence for next time. As long as you don't start the converation with, "Hey baby" or something equally stupid, most women are not going to think negatively of you for talking to them, even if they're not interested. Most of us don't make snap judgments about men anyway, unless there's a huge disparity in attractiveness, age, personal style, etc.
Here's a story for you guys, to help you feel better about rejection: My teenage daughter is gorgeous, feminine, and gay. I'm sure there are many male broken hearts at her school. She has a job at a local restaurant, and one night some players from a big league baseball team came in. Not naming names but one of them asked her out--a very nice looking one--and she said no. She didn't give him a reason, just said no. I guess he wasn't used to rejection b/c he couldn't believe that a woman would refuse him. I had such a good laugh over that one, but choked when I realized that the man probably makes over a million $ a year--good thing I'm not a golddigger.
I started convo's with three ladies over the last two days merely saying I was on my way to Singapore. Perfect strangers. It started with eye contact and, in every instance, a casual comment from the women to which I responded.
I also met the majority leader of the House of Representatives of Alabama and flew next to he and his lovely wife from Chicago to Narita. He and I must've talked for over an hour about world trade issues and our travels to foreign countries. He and his wife were headed to Bejing for trade conferences with the Chinese government. I caught his wife glancing over at me a couple of times, likely trying to reconcile the casually dressed country boy with my perspectives on the subjects we were discussing. Ken and I exchanged business cards. I gave him my travel card as he was fascinated with my knowledge of frequent flier programs. Later, I caught them wandering around Narita, repacking their luggage and doing just like myself, trying to figure out where their connecting flight was.
That's the key. Don't focus on 'getting the girl' or even on making friends. Just engage. Be yourself. Celebrate who you are. We're all different. Practice it as often as possible. That way, when the right woman comes along, it'll just flow.
When the movie was over and they left, was it obvious that she was with one of the 'few guys'?
Did you find the contact and her attractive? If yes, and if you notice she's not obviously with a guy, make contact with her after the movie. Next time
Remember, the key is what *you* want in this situation. IMO, don't approach every girl who looks at you. Be selective....
If she appears to be with someone, write it off to the normal female behavior of acquiring a 'quickie' ego boost by garnering the brief attention of a man. Validation.
When the movie was over and they left, was it obvious that she was with one of the 'few guys'?
Did you find the contact and her attractive? If yes, and if you notice she's not obviously with a guy, make contact with her after the movie. Next time
Remember, the key is what *you* want in this situation. IMO, don't approach every girl who looks at you. Be selective....
If she appears to be with someone, write it off to the normal female behavior of acquiring a 'quickie' ego boost by garnering the brief attention of a man. Validation.
No, it wasn't obvious she was "with" one of them. Yeah, I found her attractive.
As for the ego boost thing, would they do that towards a guy, regardless of whether they were attracted to him or not? And yeah, I had intentions of being selective.
It also can get him a throat full of teeth. IMO, decorum trumps connection. If he were to be so bold and had the lady's husband or BF staring him down, I think his movie-going experience would take a decided turn for the worse.
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As for the ego boost thing, would they do that towards a guy, regardless of whether they were attracted to him or not?
Yes, it can have nothing to do with attraction. It's simple psychological validation. I experienced this a lot while married, with other married women. Masters, they are, right in front of their husbands.
Last edited by carhill; 2nd November 2009 at 7:23 PM..
It also can get him a throat full of teeth. IMO, decorum trumps connection. If he were to be so bold and had the lady's husband or BF staring him down, I think his movie-going experience would take a decided turn for the worse.
Yes, it can have nothing to do with attraction. It's simple psychological validation. I experienced this a lot while married, with other married women. Masters, they are, right in front of their husbands.
Clever witches, hehe j/k.
Anyway, I just wish I knew of clear signals so I wouldn't make a fool out of myself.
Being bold is a positive thing, but don't let emotion operate without the benefit of intellect. When dealing with any human, there is always an element of the unknown. Being in the middle of a divorce, I can tell you that with assurance. Learn how people relate to each other. Observe body language. Understand that every woman who makes eye contact with doesn't want to ride your flagpole. Some do.
Tell you what, the next time you encounter such a situation, just smile and say hi. That's it. Gauge the response. If some strange guy was saying hi to my wife, I'd expect an introduction, but would not be annoyed.
So I was at the movies yesterady a girl and a few guys were sitting in the row in front of us. As she was about to sit down, she looked at me for about 3-5 seconds. This made me think about how this has happened to me before. Is this a good or a bad thing? Someone once said to me "If a girl is making it obvious she is look at you, it is bad." This true?
I dont know. Nobody knows. Its probably best to ask her
In my experience two types of girls did that to me....those who utterly hated me for no obvious reason or those who wanted to fornicate with me for very obvious reasons. Both types were not very emotionally stable so to speak.
The best scenario when she looks, smiles and goes red.
I have similar question - I posted just seconds ago btw. Its like non verbal minute.
Good luck anyway
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