[umamgrad]

First off, I think it's fair of me to say that I'm male and gay. But, that's not what I'm here to talk about. So I have a boyfriend, whom I've been with now for almost three months. We spend the nights together. Last night, Halloween, we went out to a few bars, and ended up at a male strip club. One thing lead to another, and we drank more. My boyfriend then wanted me to get a private stripper for a back room, knowing that I had never done something like that. I refused vehemently, as it did not feel right. But then, my boyfriend went ahead and did it. I felt TERRIBLE the whole time that he was back there. Although he now says that nothing happened, I don't know what to think. All I know is that my boyfriend decided to leave me at a bar while he went to the back room with a private male stripper. Again, my boyfriend says that nothing happened, but is that the point? How should I approach this?

[CarrieT]

I am so sorry for you and know how much you are hurting. This is exactly the sort of action my now ExHusband would engage in; telling me that nothing happened.

But it is a matter of respect and honesty. Your BF did not respect you when you said you were not interested in engaging in that sort of behavior. And I'm willing to bet even money that something DID happen in the back room, even if something has "innocuous" as a hand-job or a BJ.

Something DID happen -- he left you alone despite your entreaty and abused your trust.

Only you can decide if you want to continue in the relationship.

[TaleSpin]

It is definitely not okay that he did that to you, even if nothing happened. He should have respected you and your wishes and not left you alone.

[justwantlove]

I dont know how much ill help but ill share my experiences. I Loved going to the strip club with my x. Home strippers are pretty cool too. We had such a great time when we went to vegas and had our private dance. Have you ever had one maybe you too could go in together and see its not that bad and have even more fun with the three of you.
At the same time i do see why your upset. He knew that you were slightly uncomfortable with the situation and i dont think that he should have left you alone.
Befor this happened did you have a problem with him going to the strip club w/o you?