[amandaornot]

Ok so my nieghbor is really hot. We have kinda turned into a friends with benifits on my part. I told him that I dont want a relationship but I would love to keep going what we do have ( great sex ). But its been a couple of months and I find myself having some for real feelings for him. I am just so nervous around him though. I want to tell him how I feel but Im afraid he will think I am a dork or something. I cant tell if he has more interest in me rather just sex. He comes over to my house and chills with me and I go chill with him sometimes. I have seen his ex and she isnt all that pretty. He doesnt talk to me much about.. things people that like each other talk about. I know I am very shy and he is so attractive I just get all mixed up inside when I try to talk to him. After meeting with him one time (sex) we woke up together and he said I like my women like I like my coffee white and sweet. Was that directed towards me? IDK. Could I be sending the wrong signals or could he be just as afraid to open up to me? Or is it he just wants to keep having sex. We never have sex sober though.. I guess cause drinking loosens us both up. idk I just really like him and I am horrilbe at beating around the bush and leaving hints.. I wish I could just come out and talk to him. What should I do? Any advice helps!

[Miss Blue]

Speaking from experience I can tell you FWB is not an easy thing to live with if you have feelings for the guy. In my opinion, the longer you leave the situation as it is the harder it will be to move things along. Perhaps you should say you really like him, the sex is great and you see no reason why you couldn’t become GF/BF now you’ve got to know him better. Coincidentally, I’m just trying to work out a similar conversation and it’s difficult to know how to phrase it so you ‘win’ but you’ll have to be prepared for him to reject the idea before you start. I hope it gives you a starting point anyway. Best of luck!

[vanilla87]

All I can say is that if up front you both agreed for it to be nothing more than FWB then that's what he is going to keep doing. Guys can have sex and never gain an ounce of emotion for the girl in question he is fooling around with. As the saying goes "Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free...", which is that he can sleep with you and never have to date you and do all that girlfriend stuff with, so its less complicated. That's why you either are up front or not with the guy if you end up developing feelings. Never do FWB with a guy you have feelings for, it won't be like a romantic comedy and he won't wake up and realize he has feelings for you.

I'm sorry to burst the bubble, but it's true. If he has feelings for you he would take the time to get to know you for months or weeks before jumping into bed with you, basically either to establish a connection or create a bond known as a friendship. Plus the fact that he stated "I like my women like I like my coffee white and sweet", means he likes to date girls with very little sexual experience who don't like to fool around with just any guy. He likes girls that are a challenge and that make him work for sex. Most guys like that when they try and date a girl usually, which means the kind he can take home to mom.

I think you need to cut bait with this guy and find someone else, which sounds easier then actually doing, I know from personal experience, but you need to walk away while you still can, cause if you don't he is going to be a jerk, find another girl, and tell you like a week to a few weeks into dating her and only mentioning because he wants to start sleeping with her and stop sleeping with you.

[ADF]

Originally Posted by amandaornot

Ok so my nieghbor is really hot. We have kinda turned into a friends with benifits on my part. I told him that I dont want a relationship but I would love to keep going what we do have ( great sex ). But its been a couple of months and I find myself having some for real feelings for him. I am just so nervous around him though. I want to tell him how I feel but Im afraid he will think I am a dork or something. I cant tell if he has more interest in me rather just sex. He comes over to my house and chills with me and I go chill with him sometimes. I have seen his ex and she isnt all that pretty. He doesnt talk to me much about.. things people that like each other talk about. I know I am very shy and he is so attractive I just get all mixed up inside when I try to talk to him. After meeting with him one time (sex) we woke up together and he said I like my women like I like my coffee white and sweet. Was that directed towards me? IDK. Could I be sending the wrong signals or could he be just as afraid to open up to me? Or is it he just wants to keep having sex. We never have sex sober though.. I guess cause drinking loosens us both up. idk I just really like him and I am horrilbe at beating around the bush and leaving hints.. I wish I could just come out and talk to him. What should I do? Any advice helps!

I am going to say something I've said at least a half dozen times before: don't have FWB relationships with men you are likely to fall for. Women get into FWB relationships with the idea they will grow into something deeper. But this almost never happens. For most men, FWB--not a committed relationship--is the ultimate win-win situation. He gets sex with a woman he likes but has none of the responsibilities of a real relationship. Most men in FWB relationships never, ever want them to change. In fact, if you press the issue, they will usually drop you.

If you are willing to just have great sex, fine. But forget about this guy as a romantic prospect.