[thewomantoblame]

My best guy friend and I have kind of broached the topic of dating, but we're both nervous about ruining the friendship. Anybody with experience have any thoughts?

[WTRanger]

Look at it this way. If the topic has even come up, your friendship is already at risk. So what really do you have to lose? If you BOTH feel the same way, then just go for it. Stop thinking about the worst result and just start dating.

If not, then never seem him again as a friend anyways because the feelings monster has already reared his ugly head.

[ADF]

Are you really BOTH nervous, or is it mostly you? I ask because women often seem to think sex somehow dirties relationships, puts them at risk, makes them somehow less pure and true. I don't think I've ever met a single man who think this way.

WTRanger is right. This cat is out of the proverbial bag. If you both want to, do it. If your friendship is worth saving, it will survive.

[thewomantoblame]

It's both of us. First and foremost we want to preserve what is a really great friendship. We have everything in the world in common and have a fantastic time when we're together. Neither one of us wants to see that lost.

I think we've bitten off more than I can chew (I think we'd have a fantastic relationship, but I'm nervous he's going to break my heart before we can get there) and while it's nor irreparable, it's going to take a few months to get back to normal.

[WTRanger]

Then it sounds as if one of you is more interested in a relationship than the other. Either way, once this topic comes up the friendship is no longer "just a friendship."

The best you can do now is to just be honest. Get over your fears and just barrel ahead in life. Trust me. I spent the greater part of this year in limbo and it ended with a dull thud. Go for it and go for it now. Stop dwelling on if he will break your heart. There is no way you can predict that, so stop thinking about it.

[thewomantoblame]

I was under the impression that I was more interested in a relationship than he was. We slept together last week and I decided I was going to tell him that it just couldn't happen again unless there was something going on with us.

A group was out for his birthday last night and as soon as we were alone for the first time he apologized for acting all macho. I didn't understand what he meant, since we're friends, too. He grabbed my hand as if to apologize for not and I then proceeded to tell him he wasn't acting any differently than he had been since we had our discussion and I didn't expect him to.

He felt it necessary to explain himself in the bar and proceeded to tell me that everything I do is right, he's about 85% sure that I'm the one and he's scared.

He asked for a week to get his head on straight. I told him to take all the time he needs, but things are going back to normal in the meantime.

Thanks for everybody's input. It's appreciated.