I'm pretty new to this but here is my story. He is a married co-worker. When I first saw him I was blown away by my physical attraction to him. He has always felt the same way. Although he has been more direct about it towards me than I have to him. The flirting has gone on for a year and a half. I've recently taken some time off work and during this time we have been exchanging more and more explicit emails and texts.
He is amazed and thrilled at the prospect of getting together. This is giving me such a thrill. I had been teasing him mercilessly for the days before we met up. I made it clear that I expect this to go on for a while. Well, we have to work through every fantasy we have shared and this could take time. He's so excited at this and so am I.
We met a last week. Not for sex. Although we both wish it was. But again I'm enjoying the teasing. It was our first kiss (raunchy not loving). And also the first time we have seen each other since we decided to go ahead with this. We fooled around in the car but that was it.
I have no delusions about this. Cliche I know. But he is 15 years younger than me. He has responsibilities, two small children and a wife he has been with since grade school. I've read all the articles I can find on cheating and unfortunately she has fallen into the role of a 'typical' wife who gets cheated on and he the 'typical' husband who cheats.
We used to talk about how he could fix this but he has absolutely inclination to do this. I'm past thinking about his wife and family. I don't see myself as a threat to their marriage. Another cliche! But I don't want him permanently in my life...he's far to young. He drinks, goes clubbing and womanizes. Not my ideal of a partner. I've also recently met someone (just a cpl of weeks ago) who has relationship potential. We're similar ages and share a lot in common. All that good stuff. Trouble is a came to find out, a couple of days after meeting up with my MM, that sexually it would be hell of an uphill climb to be compatible.
But I'm dying for great sex. The adoration. The stamina. I'm absolutely aching for this.
Your post actually reads like a teenage girl and her first boy friend
So you want to have sex with your married co-worker; you don't care about his family (wife and kids); you just want what you want and you and he are gonna make the sheets burn when you have sex. You don't want a relationship, just a boy toy who tells you how beautiful you are, how wonderful you are, how sexy you are, etc...
BUT, you recently met a man who could be relationship potential.
And that is where you lost me with your post lol
__________________ We teach others how to treat us.
Teenage girl and her first boyfriend. Wow...that sounds exciting. Maybe I should just do it.
You summed up a couple of points so I'm not sure where you got lost or which part you were unable to understand. I'll do my best to clarify.
A married co-worker wants to have sex with me. He doesn't care about his family (his wife and kids). He just wants what he wants. He wants to make my sheets burn when we have sex. He doesn't want a relationship, just an older woman who makes him feel sexually confident and strokes his ego etc.
I recently met a guy who has relationship potential. But I have since found out that he has the smallest penis I have seen in a long time. Not satisfying at all.
Did I find you again?
Quote:
Originally Posted by fooled once
I am not sure I even understand your post.
Your post actually reads like a teenage girl and her first boy friend
So you want to have sex with your married co-worker; you don't care about his family (wife and kids); you just want what you want and you and he are gonna make the sheets burn when you have sex. You don't want a relationship, just a boy toy who tells you how beautiful you are, how wonderful you are, how sexy you are, etc...
BUT, you recently met a man who could be relationship potential.
There are many ways that this could play out if you have sex with him. Just be aware of what you may be signing up for, because it may not be worth it.
1. You could have great sex, neither getting too emotionally attached, he never being caught or feeling guilty, and you end it in due time and no one is the wiser.
OR
2. Either one of you gets strong feelings for the other...and they are not reciprocated...setting up a painful situation. Or they do get reciprocated and he starts to really think about leaving his wife...mess.
OR
3. He gets caught or he feels really guilty and confesses. Now you have a wife that is pissed off. He may give you up and now you have to deal with her, and maybe even a mess at work if she tells him that you two can't have contact at work.
In the end...it is a lot of stuff to deal with for a piece of a$$. If you are such a cougar I'm sure you can find an available young guy that will be more than happy to rock your world no strings attached.
Besides, the thrill is usually in the chase...what if he sucks in bed? Then what?
Good luck
__________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there. -Rumi
Ew, a co-worker. The worst kind of MM to get involved with. Puts your career on the line. If he's talking to you, how do you know he won't talk to someone else at work about what you two are up to? Just a hint or two or a leer or inappropriate comment in front of others and your reputation at work is shot.
You should also consider that getting involved and staying involved with him will likely prevent you from getting involved with someone you really can care about and can develop a good relationship with, both emotionally and sexually. You'll get so caught up in this MM, that the others will drop off until he becomes your focus. The blinders will come on and no one else will measure up. That is, if this guy can perform as big as he talks.
Move on. You can do better than some young guy who doesn't give a damn about his wife, the mother of his children or his family's well-being. If he's that selfish with the people he supposedly loves, believe me, he's going to be selfish sexually, too. And when it ends, he won't give a damn about you, either, which brings us back to jeopardizing your reputation at work and your career.
I did read through a similar thread. The difference was she had not engaged in anything beyond a kiss with the MM. The advice to gain back her dignity really struck a chord in me. Thing is I would but I feel like I have lost some dignity by 'fooling around'. (I actually gave him oral sex in the car...classsy huh?). I feel almost tarnished myself. Does anyone understand that feeling?
For the past year or so I we've flirted but I never had any intention of taking it further. I'll be back at work next week and things could easily have gone back to meaningless flirting if none of this had happened. But I feel as though I have humiliated myself.
thanks for clarifying -- I wasn't sure what the problem with the new guy was.
I have to agree with Nora -- workplace relationships COULD cost you your job (or him his job).
I know you are enjoying the attention and the excitement of it all, but if I were you, and this is just my opinion, I would find some other person to get involved with.
I get it that you aren't concerned about his wife and family, but do you need his wife showing up at work and going off on you? Do you need her getting a hold of your supervisor? Do you need her spreading gossip about you?
Life is too short to have your career ruined or jeopardized by this guy. Plenty of single fish in the sea!
In the end...it is a lot of stuff to deal with for a piece of a$$. If you are such a cougar I'm sure you can find an available young guy that will be more than happy to rock your world no strings attached.
dont do it !!! will make your job a living hell! one of you or both of you may end up without a job. and in about a year from now your going to be saying why the **** did i do that when you have a job that sucks like hell, all for great sex? i can have great sex by myself
if i wait long enough. your right with that name the devil inside, on a serious note. more bad than good will come from this i promise you. been there done that, have that job that sucks like hell now.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Hybrid Mode
