[Ladybug313]

Nice forum. I like the very direct advice.
Here's my situation.

I was set up by friends and went on a date with this guy 3 years older than me, hmm, I think it was about the end of January. Unfortunately timing was kinda bad because in less than a week I had to leave home and return to finish school. He's home working. But he called and wanted to meet, so I figured why not. Anyway I think this guy is on the quiet side because on the first date I had to initiate all the topics of conversation, but in general I enjoyed his company and had a nice time. I am on the quiet side myself but seeing that he didn't say a word when I walked into the restaurant but just stared at me, I figured I needed to chat a bit to break the ice. No problem. So that was the date. It was very pleasant and I liked his calm, quiet mannerisms and he had really interesting things to say when I asked him this and that.

He contacted me about 2 days later with a text message on my cell asking for my messenger screen name and I gave it to him. He contacted me the next day again with a text message saying he was sorry I had to leave so soon and to say hi if we caught eachother online once I was back on campus. He wrote, "have a careful, safe trip back." I responded back and said I had a nice time and that it would be great to chat with him online. Is it a problem that he didn't call or try to get to see me again one more time before I left? Maybe not interested enough yet? Or didn't want to rush since I was leaving practically the next day? It was only one date so I didn't think that was too big a deal. I figured the text messages were a good sign so far.

So we've been in touch, not often at all, but just from time to time, in brief bursts. He talks to me online sometimes, I write him brief emails about my school life and he usually responds back.

Forgive me if the signs are right there and I am being utterly clueless, but I haven't dated a lot at all compared to others my age and this is all fairly new ground to me. And this is the first time I have thought, wow, for a blind date what a good time I had. I just want to know if he is interested in seeing me again the next time I go home. I am thinking of asking him out for a meal and movie or something but I admit I am a little nervous. Or should I just contact him and let him know I am home and see how he takes it from there? I guess I should just go for it, but I don't want to do it if it seems too pushy or if he's not interested...since we only met once. Just dive in and go "oh well! Your loss!" if he says no? Tee hee.

Either way I'll contact him, but just wanted a little feedback to see where I stand. I want to take it slow since it may be easy for me to get all hyped up for no reason due to lack of experience.
Thank you for reading this detailed account.

[Tony T]

You're a lucky lady!!! This guy is kind enough to be polite and text you to be cordial but he's also sane enough to know dating you would NOT be practical at this time because you are away at school.

When you move back to his area, he will be a GREAT guy to date if he's still available. There aren't many people out there who are intelligent enough to realize that kissing, holding hands, cuddling, and enoying life together, etc., is VERY difficult via a telephone or computer.

Don't even think about this guy until you are going to be in his proximity for a period of time. Meanwhile, date some nice guys at school...right there where you are.

Well, I suppose an occasional email to him would be nice...so he doesn't forget you.

[quankanne]

by all means stay in contact with the guy, especially if he's good about replying to your e-mails; basically, you're laying the foundations for a relationship right now. When you happen to be at home (or if he's in the area) it won't feel so odd to invite your friend to meet you for dinner, or maybe catch a movie or a concert with you, because the relationship is already there.

Granted, it's probably going to be a bit frustrating trying to orchestrate this, but the potential pay off is good. The important thing is that you try your best, you know?

[Ladybug313]

Thank you Tony and quankanne. I will keep your advice in mind.
I'll be graduating and going home in about 2 months, where I will be starting my new job.
Let's hope he is still available. And that I like my new job.
(crossing fingers )

The problem I must face presently is getting my schoolwork done now that I have discovered this site. If you see me posting away to everyone's messages don't mind me. Lots of interesting stuff here. :P

Thanks again.

[Kidd Seuss]

[color=darkred]I will refer to my sad existance for this response. heheh. Some people (such as myself) that have been meeting folks on the internet and doing it for so long, can un-learn their abilities to be very social in person. I fall victim to this all the time. I don't like using the phone. Normally anyone who I would call is either on AOL or has an email address that I can get ahold of them through. Plus, on the internet, you never have to deal with uncomfortable silences. My suggestion is to find something entertaining to do when you go out that can be full of conversational matter. Find out what excites him. Chances are, once he begins to feel pretty comfortable with you, he'll come out of his shell and you'll see him in a more social light. At least thats what happens with me.

Drew [/color]

[Ladybug313]

Hi again. I don't know if I should have started a new post but since it concerns the same topic I'll just continue.

Alright. I don't know if posting here just did something but the guy I posted about above called me for the first time yesterday. I was so taken off guard I probably made a fool of myself 'um'ing' and stammering all over the place. He kept chuckling. Argh. I don't even know how he got my number but I am figuring through my friends?
He told me he is coming to town next weekend for work and would like to take me out if I am not too busy. Oh goodness. I am very excited, but I am so nervous. I can't help myself. I've asked my friends what stuff would be good to do, and it's ranged from romantic restaurants to casual ones, everyone has different opinions. In the end they all sort of smiled and told me to ask the forum for more opinions. So here I am.
I mean, fancy restaurants are very nice and all, but I don't want it to be too high maintenance or anything. He's just here briefly and I want to show him a nice and comfortable time. I know this place where they have delicious chocolatey desserts and I'd love to take him there too. And I have thought of a movie, but then we wouldn't really be talking.
I feel so silly but it's so very exciting to me, and this is the first time the ball is on my side of the court since I'm the one who knows the area you know? Should I just take him wherever I usually go? I want to show him a good time but not have it be too intense since it's only our second time meeting.
Again, he's a very quiet guy so I don't want to make him uncomfortable. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thank you.