[barra260]

G'Day all.
My girlfriend and I had been going out seriously for about three months now. We had never had a fight. She had felt insecure with our relationship twice before but after I talked to her, everything was OK. Suddenly the other day she came over and said "I'm not sure you are the person I want to be with right now" She says she can't read me, I do not display a lot of emotion, I didn't realise it was so important.
She had been chasing me for 12 months before we finally got together so I have no doubt she loves me. We always told each other that we loved one another . She says she just needs some time to see if she misses me and get her head together. I called her two days after we broke up and we talked for about an hour, both very emotional. When asked if there was any chance of us getting back together she said she didn't know but wouldn't say no. I couldn't tell her everything I wanted to because we were both so upset so I wrote her a couple of letters.
It has been three days now and I don't know if I should call her, email her or give her more time? I am just afraid she might forget about me unless I don't keep on trying.
Some advice would be great

[Tony T]

Don't be a wimp and don't let this lady jerk your butt around. You have been extremely clear on how you feel. Now just back off. She's very unmstable right now and you don't need somebody like that in your life.

Don't contact her in any way...no email....no snail mail...no calls...no messages through friends....NO COMMUNICATION AT ALL. That will drive her out of her mind if she cares about you and she will contact you. If she doesn't care about you, you won't hear from her...which is just fine.

Her excuse for breaking up with you is very lame. If she had a problem with your communication style, she could have told you and given you a chance to correct that. Women who care about a guy will definitely give them notice on what's wrong instead of just breaking things off.

This lady's really strange and you just don't need that, take my word for it.

Back off and see what happens. Any more contact with her at this point will be overkill. And stop worrying. I can't begin to tell you how many times this has happened to me. When a female goes dark on me, I go find a light somewhere else. Trust me...you don't need this kind of abusive emotional treatment. Don't put yourself through it.

[midori]

you've said all you can at this point. She's not going to actually forget about you.

She sounds confused about what she wants, and the only one who can sort it out is her. Pressing her to make a decision isn't going to get you what you want. It's a tough thing to have to wait for another person's decision, but that's where you are right now. You can wait on pins and needles, or you can try to occupy yourself with other things.

I'd say if you haven't heard from her by the end of the week it is safe to assume that you're not going to hear from her for a while.

Sorry. good luck

[candice]

guy, hang in there. the same thing happened to me....just make her a c.d. of songs that say you are there for her, and BE there for her. Don't push the relationship right away, give her time. She will come around,--she obviously still cares, b/c of the emotion. Don't make it harder on her, or she will just pull away. be there for her, but also lead your own life....hang out w/others, don't wait on her beck and call. She'll see that you're strong, and have your own life--yet still care about her. Good luck hun

[Nick]

I'm going through the same thing right now. After going out for a year, me and my Girlfriend broke up last night, well she dumped me and I know i love her. She seems just like my gf, a drama queen and just wants attention. My advice is that if u love her set her free, and if she loves you and comes back, it was meant to be. lol something my mom just told me. Anyways, hang in there, stay strong. Don't give her attention but again don't ignore her. Just try to act cool and if she loves you, she will come to you.

Thats just what i think, so believe it or not
~NICK~

[quankanne]

she chased you for a year, then caught you and told you she loved you, now she can't figure out what she wants?

sounds more like she's in love with the idea of being in love, than she is with a real relationship. Unless you're willing to put up with a lot of drama and indecision, just walk away, because this sounds like very shaky grounds for a relationship to me!

[Kidd Seuss]

[color=darkred]Perhaps you both should try worrying about the friendship now. You spent 12 months being a friend and she spent 12 months chasing after a guy friend. After that long of chasing someone, a gal can entertain so many ideas and build you up so much, that you may not be the man she expected when you start dating. Now that you both have the pressure of the impending relationship under your belt, pay attention to your friendship which may have been neglected. Afterall, no relationship (friends or otherwise) is possible with a neglected friendship.

Drew [/color]