Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
Do you mean someone that is cheating or someone that isn't but has a propensity to? If #2, then I would start with people that are selfish and lack a morale compass on things outside of relationship issues; everything is about them and you end up doing things for their sake and not your own so they don't have a hissy fit; they don't take your thoughts or feelings into consideration on anything....they are dishonest people in general....have no problem stealing things or ripping people off. They have no conscience about anything...will lie to friends in a heartbeat to get out of helping them or if they accidently or otherwise insult or hurt someone, they just don't care or even think its amusing.
Its not always easy to pinpoint dishonest acts, but I think its easy to peg someone as having the personality to be dishonest just by getting to know them.
Also, watch them with they are drunk or see how vengeful they are when screwed over. Do they lose control when hammered? Do they go over the top when getting even with someone? If so, I would worry about acute cheating when there is a conflict in the relationship.
Let's not forget narcissists, ego-maniacs and very insecure people that need constant reinforcement.
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Last edited by MichiganMan222; 28th August 2009 at 10:19 AM..
I have to disagree completely with PP. People who cheat aren't always bad people, but he's leading us to believe that if you cheat you are as low as a thief, someone who would manipulate and con people, well there are people like that, yes, but I've cheated, and I'm not. I don't say things to hurt people, and when I do, I hate myself for it. A morale compass? I have one, I was someone who made a mistake, and bad choices.
I would say it isn't easy to spot someone who would, everyone is capable of doing it. Of course, there are the ones who seem more likely to do it-the womanizers, the 'sluts' (excuse my term) etc. Nothing is definitive other than the person's actions. Are they commitment phobic? Then you may have an issue. But it's down to the person, there's no stereotype for those who cheat. Ok, there is, but it's not at all accurate, I can blow most of what PP said out of the water. Sorry, but to compare someone who has made a bad decision, a bad choice, a selfish action, to someone who would steal is very much like saying someone who watches horror films is as bad as someone who actually goes out and kills someone. Idiotic. People make mistakes, humanity is a race full to brim of mistakes. There's a lot worse things to do to someone than cheat....
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I think you misunderstood...or maybe I misunderstood the question. I didn't say all people that cheat are bad people....I said bad people have a higher propensity to cheat. You basically turned what I said around 180 degrees. Good people cheat, yes, but by the nature of their 'goodness', you would never be able to have any sort of foresight of this and that is the crux of the OP's question....what type of person is a risk.
Good people are not as high of a risk...that's my point. Doesn't mean its not possible.
Last edited by MichiganMan222; 28th August 2009 at 10:53 AM..
Ok fair enough. What I said was is that I don't believe there are necessarily types that cheat- all are capable. Look at past histories if you want clues and that may be the only clue anyone will get. It's just some people are more prone yes, but often its not until they cheat that anyone spots the signs.
I think they are the ones that come on strong and chase you to the point that you finally say yes to go out with them. It is the chase that they want and like most and will be done with you in a few months.
Sorry, but to compare someone who has made a bad decision, a bad choice, a selfish action, to someone who would steal is very much like saying someone who watches horror films is as bad as someone who actually goes out and kills someone. Idiotic. People make mistakes, humanity is a race full to brim of mistakes. There's a lot worse things to do to someone than cheat....
You sound just like my ex-girlfriend and guess what... She cheated on me!
My point? Self righteous justification is a sign of a cheater....
But on a more serious note, there are the obvious signs, but you'll never know for sure.
Last edited by Javelin; 28th August 2009 at 7:32 PM..
I met one of the worlds most wonderful men. He could have easily been the 8th wonder of the world; kind, loving, caring etc. (ok, so I put him on a pedestal, but he was absolutely perfect).
You never would have thought that he was the cheating type. From an outsiders view of our relationship, he was clearly head over heels for me. In love. Whatever you want to call it.
5 months into the relationship I found out that he had already cheated on me twice. One nighters with women that he knew.
I was utterly devastated. It truly was a shock as I honestly believed that this man would take me down the aisle. But that is because he MADE OUT that he was in love with me. He obviously wasnt in love with me otherwise he wouldnt have done it.
It really did teach me a lesson. Im always extra cautious about cheaters and about believing peoples words and actions.
I dont let it ruin my life or relationships, but I guess I shall never fully trust another man.
Obviously with normal people it's impossible to tell if they will be a cheater.
But are there certain types of people you feel will be more likely to cheat?
People with no backbone, or that are easily influenced.
People who feel stuck with someone whom they resent, they not feel respected by, or with whom they have bad communication. I think that the better the communication is, the less likely 'good' people might be to cheat.
People with a huge ego who feel entitled to being treated better than they are willing to treat others.
People who genuinely don't see cheating as a big deal and who genuinely would not mind much being cheated on.
Men who hate women and women who hate men.
Having been cheated on, I honestly had no idea at all that she was bonking other men on the side. All the 'intuition' and 'feelings' and 'listening to my gut' and all the rest did me no good whatsoever. The only way I found out was during a phone call when she mistook me for someone else. Now THAT was an interesting conversation...
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so true.
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