[analisa]

Hello,
This feels nuts but I need help dealing with ending a five year relationship with a man who is clearly mentally ill and a jerk to boot - but I cant stop thinking about him, about the sex ( which was completely amazing! why are crazy guys so hot?), about the good times we had ( few & far between )....'
Ive broken up with him several times and I have a restraining order! after he climbed in through my window when we were estranged and got in my bed and refused to leave. Each time I go back. I feel like I am addicted to:

the drama
the make up sex
the sex in general
the fact that he's obsessed with me
the way he is super nice at first when i go back
the idea that it could/should be so easy, so good......why cant we make it work?

I mean, yeah, the guy spit on me, for christ's sake. He called me a whore in front of his dad. He called my best friend a cunt. he has no friends, and pretty much his entire family is really unpleasant to be around. my friends and kids think he's creepy.

and he says that if I would only really commit and move in/marry him, he will finally feel secure and happy and stop crying everyday and telling me that he needs a real girlfriend. ( i avoid going over there when he has crying episodes. he is chronically depressed but says it's because he is lonely cuz i wont come over )

of course i would never ever move in.

anyway, any suggestions for getting the jerk off my mind and making sure I just dont go out and replace him with a new improved jerk? I've dated other men, i work a lot, hang with friends, pamper myself, exercise, read, do art, sew, etc etc.....it just feels really ****ed up to be hung up on someone who is so clearly whack. i dont understand.

thank you ! lisa