[gypsi]

Hi everyone

Well the love of my life broke up with me 6 months ago and the main reason was that i have no impulse control when i drink! I dont get drunk during the week or drink on a regular basis but when i do drink i drink way to much...i get very agro with everyone especially the people i care for the most i push them away and say terrible mean hurtfull things to them! I did this to her on 3 occasions and the last occasion i blanked out and apparently i was saying things like i hate you! you have ruined my life! And i didnt know who she is, i thought she kidnapped me..?? wtf this never happended to me before (i was drinking absinth that night). As anyone else experienced this? She couldnt deal with that and left me i am broken. I am doing everything possible to fix myself that means limiting myself to only drink one cider when ever i go out.

I feel like such a horrible person, the guilt is eating me up alive its like i become 2 different people. She said she loves the real me but cant handle my aggresive dark side when i drink. This has ruiened my life.