[confused_heart]

Hello All,

I have dated this wonderful girl for 1 year and during this time frame, she was more like wanted to get settle with me and started to love me and I also strated to have feelings for her and the love.

I do love this girl but the problem is that I do not see her as my marriage partner. She is very different than me and our values, goals, thinking in life is very different. That's what scared me in moving forward with this relationship. The whole point is that although she loves me and I love her as well, she doesn't come accross my expectations which i have from a life partner. I need a partner who is little intellectual, career oriented, confident, nice, loving, caring and with a stable mind and little less crazy compare to this gal.

This girl doesn't have stable mind, Before me, she had a affair with a guy and then a stupid kissng incident with my brother and then she started to like/love me and now she is dating this guy who she tells me "that she doesn't really love him".

It was all over between me and her and I am happy for her that she has started to date and mind potentional mate for her.

In the mean time, i have started to look around as well and i have started to talk/date this nice gal. Yesterday I gave my ex a call and told her that that i am going out with this gal during valentine time. Although she does have a date during valentine time with her new boyfriend, she started acting weird and today morning she calls me up saying "I still haven't gotten over you. I don't really love this guy. You are my 1st love and i still love you and miss you even though when she is with him". She makes me feel bad and I get hurt. Throughout the whole year, it's been so painful for me to getover this girl and she doesn't even act wisely and have to spoil my day.

I don't know what i need to tell this girl so she can start to get over me. Plz advise. I want to make sure she moves on in her life and find a guy who really loves her. Inside and out and she lives a happy life.

Can we still be friends? or what should i do with her. I have no idea.

Plz advise.

[Tony T]

NO, you can't be friends with her.

You say she is not stable, she had an affair while she was with you and there was a kissing incident involving her and your brother.

If you even give this chick an ounce of thought, you've got problems with hair on them. You may need some counselling if you can't see the very clear answer to your question here.

Stay away from this lady and don't ever call her again. She's nothing but trouble.

[HokeyReligions]

If it was over, why the hell did you call her to tell her you were dating another girl for Valentines Day!

I imagine that had to hurt her too.

Stop playing games. Tell her AND YOURSELF that it's over and cut off all contact with her and move on.

You'll both get over it!

[confused_heart]

Holly , i didn't feel comfortable sharing with her that I have a date on valentine time , but yes the reason I wanted to tell her that so she starts to get over me as still she has feelings for me and I want to eliminate those feelings so she can start acting normal and find a guy for herself... I have been trying to break up with her politely but it's not happening..

That was the reason..

[susan]

What should I do with Her?
This in itself is pretty degrading for any human beeing.
She did a bad thing with your brother, but why did she do that?
I beleive a relationship has to do with a lot of communication, maybe you lacked that somewhere down the line. I am not putting blame on you.
I can understand that after such a "mess up" there is no forgivness to be had. As far as I am concerned relationships are about forgivness and understanding more than anything.
You should stop feeling sorry for her. If you still love her you should forgive her and find out why it happened in the first place.
Susan