My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years I am a stay at home mom he believes that the house has to the way he wants it ( never a mess and laundry always done) My husband works longer hours than most and works on improving our home after work. i understand that but I believe that i should still be able to have a life for my kids he always tells me its easy to do my job please somebody help me break that wall down.

[HokeyReligions]

Were you working before you got married? Had any other interests / hobbies? Were you the only one to do housework before? (live with parents, etc.)? Was / are your mother and father the same way?

Did you talk about any of this before marriage? What are his parents like?

It sounds like you really need to communicate with each other without it being an argument. Does he know this is hurting you and not just making you mad? What kind of compromises do you want and are you willing to give?

[quankanne]

go on strike one weekend -- let him handle caring for the kids, the cooking, the cleaning, the entertaining, etc. I don't think a lot of people realize that a small child (even just one) drains your energy while creating lots of work. I have a girlfriend from college with four of them, now ages 4-13, and even though they're bigger and can keep their messes cleaned up some, their dad wants everything spick and span clean. Duh ... if you wanted that kind of lifestyle, you shouldn't knock your wife up! Kids equal a certain level of messiness, and people need to take that into consideration, especially those who don't have day to day responsibilities of corraling, entertaining and caring for them.

If your husband feels he can do a better job keeping house while caring for your child/children, offer him a fair exchange: he does your job and has complete care of the little ones while you do whatever tasks or chores around the house, from the time he wakes up until the time he puts them to bed and he can't ask for your help because you're "busy." Maybe he'll learn to appreciate just exactly what all you've got to do overseeing home and family.