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Old 4th July 2009, 3:51 AM   #1
lucy9216
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Is he gay

My friend only see's her boyfriend twice a week, they have been together 3 years and they do not live together he still lives at home with mom? On multiple occasions when it comes time to become intamite he becomes soft or just cannot finish. He is a guy so she doesent know what his issue is especially because they only see each other twice a week he should be enthusiastic about being intimate with her and finish right away right? anything to help out my friend would be great?
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Old 4th July 2009, 3:59 AM   #2
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I don't understand the connection between the two. Why would you think he's gay?
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Old 4th July 2009, 4:21 AM   #3
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Well, why not? my friend is very attractive and he is not!! It is almost like the complete opposite of how men and women are. She is always ready and wanting to be intimate he is not? She is very confused as to why he cannot be satisfied?
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Old 4th July 2009, 4:42 AM   #4
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I think you point of view on the issue is very... uneducated.

The fact he has some ed issues has absolutely nothing to do with sexual orientation... like none. See each other twice a week... thats pretty average for anyone who actually has a life apart from their partner.

There are a few reasons why he can't finish, maybe he's having alot of pressure put on him to perform or even a medical condition. It's generally a sensitive issue and you should let THEM talk about it unless you can be mature about it.
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Old 4th July 2009, 5:12 AM   #5
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First of all my opinion is not uneducated, it is one with experience. I don't know what kind of relationships you have had, but twice a week is not a normal relationship!!! When I was in a relationship we saw each other every day and had sex at least 4 times a week. Most of my friends see their significant other every day, except for this 1 particular friend of mine. And that is why I am troubled by this. Every man needs time to themeselves don't get me wrong, but come on twice a week he sees her????

I think that you are a young arrogent little snot and need to take some relationship 101 classes on how to really treat a lady and satisfy her, cause if you consider twice a week enough for a woman to be satisfied then honey, she will be gone in a heartbeat!!!!

Last edited by lucy9216; 4th July 2009 at 5:40 AM..
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Old 4th July 2009, 6:15 AM   #6
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if i only got to see (or even talk to) my gf twice a week, it's cos she is seeing someone else the rest of the time

the earlier part of dating, sure, perhaps twice a week if things are particularly busy. but in a committed relationship ? no thank you.
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Old 4th July 2009, 6:19 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucy9216 View Post
if you consider twice a week enough for a woman to be satisfied then honey, she will be gone in a heartbeat!!!!
Why aren't you giving this advice to your friend?

Rather than worrying about what is wrong with him (and you can ask all of the anonymous strangers you want - you will never find out), I would be concerned about why she is still sticking around in a relationship that is clearly not working.
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Old 4th July 2009, 7:30 AM   #8
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None of that stuff has anything to do with being gay???? I don't understand where you're getting that connection. Perhaps he's just not that into her? But i don't think twice a week is necessarily a bad thing, i'm crazy busy with work uni and kids, so when i'm seeing someone its usually only 2-3 times a week.
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Old 4th July 2009, 8:14 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucy9216 View Post
First of all my opinion is not uneducated, it is one with experience. I don't know what kind of relationships you have had, but twice a week is not a normal relationship!!! When I was in a relationship we saw each other every day and had sex at least 4 times a week. Most of my friends see their significant other every day, except for this 1 particular friend of mine. And that is why I am troubled by this. Every man needs time to themeselves don't get me wrong, but come on twice a week he sees her????

I think that you are a young arrogent little snot and need to take some relationship 101 classes on how to really treat a lady and satisfy her, cause if you consider twice a week enough for a woman to be satisfied then honey, she will be gone in a heartbeat!!!!
It is uneducated to link sexuality to sexual disfunction based on the fact he see's her twice a week and lives with his parents...

If you see your SO every day it shows you have absolutely no life besides them. Personally I have work, I have buddies, I have hockey, college, and don't need to be reassured every waking minute she's still into me. Not to mention, its not the amount of time you spend with a girl that satisfies her but the quality of the time, the thoughtfulness, the way you show her you care, making a point of being there when she needs me or has something thats important to her.

You like to throw a fair bit of insults if some one disagrees with you eh? As easy as it would be to shoot back with a few, there's really no point in stooping to that level, any 5 y/o child can throw a fit.

Signed, young arrogent little snot

Last edited by collegekid491; 4th July 2009 at 8:26 AM..
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Old 4th July 2009, 9:09 AM   #10
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It's kind of presumptuous to speculate on this guy's sexuality just based on some ED issues, if that's even the issue. There could be any number of explanations - stress, performance anxiety, drugs, fatigue, obesity, low sex drive, or *maybe* he's just not attracted to her! It could be anything.

I'm deeply in love with my GF. We're in a LDR, so we only see each other on the weekends (although that's changing as she'll be moving here soon). When we're intimate, there are times that I cannot finish... it's rare, but it happens. It doesn't mean I'm gay. Sometimes I'm so focused on wanting to hold out to get my GF off, that it's difficult to rebuild the momentum to get myself off once she's finished. Again, rare, but it does happen. And I'm a normal guy who works out 5 days a week - don't do drugs, very little stress, and a normal sex drive. So the point is, these things can happen to anyone. But if it's happening a lot to the point where it's affecting the relationship, the mature thing to do is talk it out instead of speculating.
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Old 4th July 2009, 10:46 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucy9216 View Post
My friend only see's her boyfriend twice a week, they have been together 3 years and they do not live together he still lives at home with mom? On multiple occasions when it comes time to become intamite he becomes soft or just cannot finish. He is a guy so she doesent know what his issue is especially because they only see each other twice a week he should be enthusiastic about being intimate with her and finish right away right? anything to help out my friend would be great?
Took me 6 months to orgasm with my girlfriend. It had nothing to do with my sexual orientation.
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Old 4th July 2009, 11:11 AM   #12
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Other possibilities besides him not being sexually attracted to her for whatever reason:
Could be suffering from anxiety and/or depression, is experiencing side-effects of prescription medication(s), is afraid of getting her pregnant/their birth control failing, prefers non-partnered sex, has hormonal/chemical imbalances, (penile) artery, veins and/or 'corpora cavernosa' not functioning properly or as they should, together.
From the book, 'Why Men Stop Having Sex' (also called 'He's Just Not That Up For It Anymore) -- maybe suggest your g/f to get a copy from the library?

If the guy is concerned, he might want to visit his doctor/a urologist.
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Old 4th July 2009, 12:31 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by collegekid491 View Post
It is uneducated to link sexuality to sexual disfunction based on the fact he see's her twice a week and lives with his parents...

If you see your SO every day it shows you have absolutely no life besides them. Personally I have work, I have buddies, I have hockey, college, and don't need to be reassured every waking minute she's still into me. Not to mention, its not the amount of time you spend with a girl that satisfies her but the quality of the time, the thoughtfulness, the way you show her you care, making a point of being there when she needs me or has something thats important to her.

You like to throw a fair bit of insults if some one disagrees with you eh? As easy as it would be to shoot back with a few, there's really no point in stooping to that level, any 5 y/o child can throw a fit.

Signed, young arrogent little snot

I agree OP seems to be very b*tchy for someone asking for help. Sexual Orientation absolutely has nothing to do with Sexual orientation. Plenty of people can't perform well for many reasons. Does not mean he's gay. A very uneducated opinion. The fact that OP got very offensive makes me question how old she is and her friend having the problem. Clearly anyone over 12 would be aware of sexual disfunction and it's causes.
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Old 4th July 2009, 2:40 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucy9216 View Post
My friend only see's her boyfriend twice a week, they have been together 3 years and they do not live together he still lives at home with mom? On multiple occasions when it comes time to become intamite he becomes soft or just cannot finish. He is a guy so she doesent know what his issue is especially because they only see each other twice a week he should be enthusiastic about being intimate with her and finish right away right? anything to help out my friend would be great?
Perhaps your friend should post this herself. Too many degrees of separation at this point.
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Old 4th July 2009, 4:06 PM   #15
lucy9216
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Wow, calm down. My friend did post this herself actually, I personally did not throw out any insults my friend can be a bit of a man hater and takes things very personally. No disrespect intended
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