[snakem03024]

Some background info about me: I am 25 years old, the shy-type of guy who don't speak with strangers (but am 100% okay talking to my friends and co-workers) and had only one gf many years ago back in high school.

I had dated 1-2 girls while I was in college but that never turned into a relationship. So recently there comes a nice and beautiful summer intern whom I share my cubicle with. I have never had that "strong feeling" to a girl ever since I broke up with my gf and I am so attracted to her.

Since I am sort of like her mentor, we have a lot of chance talking /emailing to each other during the day (~30% work related and 70% just chatting about anything).

Here is a little bit info about her: We have very different personalities: she is nice, outgoing (but she is shy/nervous sometimes. Say for example she looked nervous and asked me questions like "what if they don't do pickup" when her aunt asked her to order for a pickup) and got a lot of friends. Similar to most girls, she likes partying once in a while, going to the beach for sunbathing and shopping (like an shopaholic in my opinion).

I am pretty sure she is not the type of girl that I am looking for, but I am really into her. For example I dreamed about her almost every night, do a lot of stuff to make her laugh to a point one of my co-worker said "I am like a different person", I will talk to her whenever i got a chance.

I would like to ask her out for a date but she always gave me an impression that she is not that interested in me. Here are several examples:

1) She never take an initiative and start talking to me if I don't start the conversation.
2) I ask her to go out to get a coffee and she said she is not going as she just had one in the morning, and will let me know if she changed her mind. But then it turns out that she went out to Starbucks with another girl.
3) Her Aunt, who in my opinion (not sure if I am right or wrong though) is always trying create chance for me to talk to her (e.g. asking us to pickup her lunch for her), told me she is dating another guy (to a Yankee game or something). It looks like a really bad sign to me.
4) She told me she will come with me and help me pick a birthday card for my brother, but ended up going to Macy's with another girl (the same girl in #2) to buy a watch. She did helped me to get a card on the same day, but that's when I ask her again if she wants go out during the "break".

I am the type of person even my close friends will sometimes blame me for being too "secretive", but for some reasons I just felt very comfortable sharing everything about me to her, including the secrets I never shared with my friends. It is really painful to me as I dreamed about her every night but I have to keep telling myself she doesn't like me and we are just friends. I really want to ask her out for a date and have her rejected me face-to-face, but I just can't risk losing a friend I could comfortably sharing everything with.

Anyway, I sent her a really creative birthday card recently (which is probably my fault) and she looks really happy with it. Her face blushes and tells me this is the most creative card she has ever received. You know, this really ignites my hope that may actually do more harm than good to me.

We are still going to see each other every day for 1-2 months, so it is almost impossible to not talk to her. Can anyone please tell me what I should do to make it less painful?