GUYS .. how do you treat girls that are just friends
differently from girls you are interested in?
i'm not sure if the guy I like LIKES me or is just nice/friendly
If he is flirting, he might be interested, but you have to flirt back. You cant be subtle about it. He might be waiting for cues from you.
If he keeps up the flirting and asks you for your number, hes interested.
If he doesnt flirt back, then you know hes not interested.
__________________ ADF: People don't lie to spare other people; people lie to spare themselves. Anybody who says, "it's not you, it's me" is beneath contempt.
If he is flirting, he might be interested, but you have to flirt back. You cant be subtle about it. He might be waiting for cues from you.
If he keeps up the flirting and asks you for your number, hes interested.
If he doesnt flirt back, then you know hes not interested.
sorry I forgot to mention we're already friends
yes he flirts, yes he looks into my eyes
we talk (IM or text) everyday, but idk if it's out of
kindness (cause he's a nice guy) or something more ..
So push it to the next level. Go make a date. Once you get to the date, make some moves. You gonna wait forever for HIM to give you a hint? Youre both too chicken to take a risk.
So push it to the next level. Go make a date. Once you get to the date, make some moves. You gonna wait forever for HIM to give you a hint? Youre both too chicken to take a risk.
no no, he just recently got out of a 1.5 year relationship .. i'm not sure he's ready
As long as your friend knows you're single, if he's truly attracted to you, he will act in a way which separates you out from the pack and focuses strictly on you. Usually, this is done by asking you out on a date. If he doesn't, he's not sufficiently attracted to overcome any inhibitions he might otherwise have. If you see him as a long-term prospect, that isn't a good sign, as it indicates the propensity for an unbalanced relationship. Further, when a man is interested less, he is more likely to notice someone else, leading to more imbalance. Unhealthiness results.
If he's young and inexperienced, he gets one pass (in the romantic sense) from you. That's it. If he doesn't get it then, move on
Edited to add, since he's just out of a R, he's not truly single, unless he was the dumper and was emotionally detached prior to the end of the R. I'd leave this one be for now.
As long as your friend knows you're single, if he's truly attracted to you, he will act in a way which separates you out from the pack and focuses strictly on you. Usually, this is done by asking you out on a date. If he doesn't, he's not sufficiently attracted to overcome any inhibitions he might otherwise have. If you see him as a long-term prospect, that isn't a good sign, as it indicates the propensity for an unbalanced relationship. Further, when a man is interested less, he is more likely to notice someone else, leading to more imbalance. Unhealthiness results.
If he's young and inexperienced, he gets one pass (in the romantic sense) from you. That's it. If he doesn't get it then, move on
Edited to add, since he's just out of a R, he's not truly single, unless he was the dumper and was emotionally detached prior to the end of the R. I'd leave this one be for now.
it was a mutual break-up but I think he was more into the relationship than she was
idk he keeps saying we need to hang out .. w/e that means
My instinct right now is, if you are attracted to him, do not hang out with him. He likely feels something for you but it is fogged by the emotions of his breakup and is unclear. It may not have anything to do with you and rather is a generalized desire for validation and, when you validate him, he feels an attraction to that, but not enough to proactively pursue you.
If his relationship was long (as in more than a year), he's experienced enough to know what he wants. Listen to his actions. They don't lie
My instinct right now is, if you are attracted to him, do not hang out with him. He likely feels something for you but it is fogged by the emotions of his breakup and is unclear. It may not have anything to do with you and rather is a generalized desire for validation and, when you validate him, he feels an attraction to that, but not enough to proactively pursue you.
If his relationship was long (as in more than a year), he's experienced enough to know what he wants. Listen to his actions. They don't lie
yeah I just dont understand that even while he was with her we still talked alot
(not as much as now though) he still told me I was "cute" "gorgeous"
came to visit me at work & then another time went to get coffee with me ..
we actually haven't hung out since hes been single
IMO, that's validation-seeking behavior, sometimes a feature of the monkey-branch theory of relationships, where the person seeks to capture the emotions of another either prior to dumping or when in fear of being dumped or, if passive-aggressive, behaving in such a way that compels the existing partner to dump them.
Take a month hiatus from him and see what happens. It's interesting that you haven't physically seen him since his breakup. Very interesting.
IMO, that's validation-seeking behavior, sometimes a feature of the monkey-branch theory of relationships, where the person seeks to capture the emotions of another either prior to dumping or when in fear of being dumped or, if passive-aggressive, behaving in such a way that compels the existing partner to dump them.
Take a month hiatus from him and see what happens. It's interesting that you haven't physically seen him since his breakup. Very interesting.
lol it's impossible to take a month break from him ..
he'll email, text, call, IM or find some way to get in touch with me
& I don't want to ignore him I like him too much .. I don't really understand
what you're saying ...
It's easy. Just ignore him. Or, suggest that you'd love to talk with him, over dinner. He's buying Then, leave it at that. Go on about your life. Plenty of other guys out there who do want to date you.
IMO, if you continue upon the current path, you risk becoming a tampon, a sponge for him. What's in that for you?
It's easy. Just ignore him. Or, suggest that you'd love to talk with him, over dinner. He's buying Then, leave it at that. Go on about your life. Plenty of other guys out there who do want to date you.
IMO, if you continue upon the current path, you risk becoming a tampon, a sponge for him. What's in that for you?
hmm I really don't think i'm a "sponge"
he probably just needs time, but i'm not waiting much longer
OK, good test. When you talk, what would you say the balance of conversation is? Exclude the 'hi cutie' and 'hey gorgeous' and 'we really need to get together' part. How interested is he in your daily life and how much does he remember?
Since you're saying that you haven't 'hung out' since he became single and you talk a lot less now than prior, this leads me to believe he was visualizing you as an alternative when in his R but not so much now, for whatever reason. Is he protecting a good friend? IDK, not knowing your history.
Try this.... say 'I've noticed we haven't had as much contact of late. How are things going?' Listen to the response. Then, throw in something about your life like 'I've been doing xxxx and have been having a blast'. Go into some detail. Gauge his interest.
If you don't get the sense that he's engaged and interested, either in sharing his realities with you or being curious about your life, then, as the cliche goes, 'he's just not that into you'.
OK, good test. When you talk, what would you say the balance of conversation is? Exclude the 'hi cutie' and 'hey gorgeous' and 'we really need to get together' part. How interested is he in your daily life and how much does he remember?
Since you're saying that you haven't 'hung out' since he became single and you talk a lot less now than prior, this leads me to believe he was visualizing you as an alternative when in his R but not so much now, for whatever reason. Is he protecting a good friend? IDK, not knowing your history.
Try this.... say 'I've noticed we haven't had as much contact of late. How are things going?' Listen to the response. Then, throw in something about your life like 'I've been doing xxxx and have been having a blast'. Go into some detail. Gauge his interest.
If you don't get the sense that he's engaged and interested, either in sharing his realities with you or being curious about your life, then, as the cliche goes, 'he's just not that into you'.
That's my opinion anyway. YMMV
yeah the reason why I said I dont think i'm a sponge is
because he's always asking me how I am & always remembers
things I say/like the conversations aren't all about him
& why not so much now? we talk even more now
then we did when he was in the relationship
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Too nice or interested?
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