I recently made up with a guy I like last Friday. Months ago, we went out on a date, but he and his ex made up afterwards, and I didn't know. He recently apologized and said that "things didn't go the way he expected them to, but that wasn't a good enough apology". He said his time with me was a lot better than his time without me.
We've talked about going out (and he was very much up for it), but tonight, he stopped responding to me for 4 hours, and finally said, "I'm sorry. I can't do tomorrow or next weekend. I need to think about what direction I want my life to go in. I have never done this before, but please understand. I'm not going away."
When I asked if it was about his ex, he said, "Not this time. This time, it's about me." I responded with, "I respect that. We can talk about it if you want. If you're going to leave, I can't stop you.. Just please be up front with me and remember everything you told me."
I'm trying to give him his space for now. What do you think he means, and what should I do?
I think he really is confused You say he only went out on 1 date with you? and it didn't work out with his ex but he wants to start things back up with you but just not yet. He is definatley confused but don't wait for him, if something else comes along go for it.
He could also be worried that he may start dating you on a rebound and if this is true he does need his space in order to completely get over his ex before he can completely pursue you and become involved with you.
Oh man I got exhausted just reading your posts! This guy is an idiot and he's not very interested...and also he seems presumptuous that you'd wait around. Definitely tell him you're happier as friends as all this baggage and drama after 1 date is just ridiculous!
Also you'll come across more confident and less of a (bit of a) doormat (sorry, that wasn't a bash!) if you stand firm and show that you're not interested in a guy that messes you around on any level. Your response gave him a VERY easy ride when really he only deserved silence or a 'ok, lets just be friends' type msg from you...
I know it sounds like we don't know each other well, but we've known each other for years. We've been good friends for awhile. We know each other really well.
From the talk we had, he sounded very interested.
I know where everyone is coming from, though.
Yes, I know that dynamic, but it in no way precludes the rubber band effect. That's an elemental psychological dynamic. In fact, IME, between people who know each other well and have long history, the negative aspects of such a dynamic can be even more marked and unhealthy due to that attachment. Trust me, I know
Yes, I know that dynamic, but it in no way precludes the rubber band effect. That's an elemental psychological dynamic. In fact, IME, between people who know each other well and have long history, the negative aspects of such a dynamic can be even more marked and unhealthy due to that attachment. Trust me, I know
Rebounding back and forth between intimacy and distance due to one or both parties not being on the same page emotionally or psychologically. IME, it's more prevalent or there is a higher risk when one party is emotionally unstable.
Rebounding back and forth between intimacy and distance due to one or both parties not being on the same page emotionally or psychologically. IME, it's more prevalent or there is a higher risk when one party is emotionally unstable.
Can you elaborate even more, I'm very curious about this.
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You say he only went out on 1 date with you? and it didn't work out with his ex but he wants to start things back up with you but just not yet. He is definatley confused but don't wait for him, if something else comes along go for it.
- Boldjack
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