I was raped and I am now going through some changes in my life. I get flashbacks of what had occured those many years ago. I find this puts a damper on my sex life with my husband. I want so much to make love to him but at times I get really unresponsive and in return he feels unattractive to me. This makes it hard for us to have a sexual and loving relationship. I need some pointers on how to liven up our sex lives. I want so much to be his lover and I want to find ways to open up and be uninhibited with him. HElp PLease!
Thanks for your advice.

[quankanne]

that's a pretty heavy thing to deal with, and I feel for you, BB. I don't know if many of us here (if any) are trained to deal with what you're asking about, but I do feel the safest thing to recommend is talking with or seeing a counselor who deals with issues of rape. That person is specifically trained to help you through the stress you're dealing with and give you the tools you need to move through such episodes. I'm not sure how to go about finding such a person, but I think the local women's crisis center would be able to point you in the right direction, or possibly a church ministerial alliance.

Good luck in getting the help you need, and in the meanwhile, keep showing your husband that though there might be issues that you must deal with, in no way do they change or affect the intrinsic love you feel for him.

jo anne

[HokeyReligions]

jo anne is right.

You may also want to do a search on Rape Centers or just on Rape on the internet. You may be able to find some information and support there - or find a rape consuling center in your area.