[dvsxx6]

Lol it's kinda funny that I have my own post right below this one, but I do have some things that I'd like to work on lol.

Anyway.. so like my title says, I have huge anxiety when it comes to doing homework or work. I tend to procrastinate a lot and although I know that I'm a pretty intelligent person, I don't follow through cause maybe deep down I don't want to 'fail'. I know that I only 'fail' if I don't put the effort in, which is kinda what I am doing.

Take for example, this summer. I'm taking a 6 week math and science course. 2 separate courses, and both very intense. We have a mid-term every friday for each course, and we learn material at a rapid pace, daily. I have spoken with the teachers outside of class, and for some reason, they still go through the material quickly. This causes me huge anxiety to even do the work because first off, I'm already anxious about talking to the teacher because I know that I should know more of the material than I do [but how the fck could I keep up? Both teachers are going a thousand miles a minute. Many students in class say out loud "I'm going to fail this class." or "**** I hate this class." or just really discouraging things because it's almost impossible to absorb so much material in such a short amount of time.]

I have asked for tutoring but I'd have to pay $30/hr. $30 an hour on a college campus? Are you kidding? Both my teachers said that they are "free" but I've seen them both several times, and each time I'm like wtf are you talking about cause they already expect me to know what's going on [I take good notes and pay close attention to what they are saying, but because the material presented is pretty foreign [oceanography which is heavily chemistry and physics based] and math [pre-calculus level], I am confused as hell.

I have even tried asking people in my class for help but they are the type who prefer studying alone. I am also that type but at this point, I am exploring different avenues. I only have 2 weeks left (6 week course) and I have been seeing my professors off and from the 2nd week of summer school [b/c of the fast pace and because the material is so f'ng confusing.]

I have approx 10 problems to do for my math hw tonite. I am tired of feeling like a failure every day because I can't understand this material. I feel exhausted trying and not understanding. I am not a slow learner. I am just not a math and science person. I am a psychology major and I'm supposed to graduate in dec. but if I dont' pass these 2 courses, it's going to push back my graduation to may of 09 :-(

I know so many others in both my classes feel the same way, and in a way that's comforting. I'm just tired of feeling like a faiure and feeling so anxious about things. My anxiety is carrying over to other aspects of my life and is affecting my relationship with my bf [he is very supportive of me though and understands I'm going through a tough time,] and I'm startin to drink more now [but as my other post said, I'm in Day #2 of no smoking]

I know this was really long but please, does anyone have any advice about what to do about my anxiety and how to better learn the material or I mean, something? I am so f'ng confused and stressed out. At least I'm going to take a year off after I grad in Dec [hopefully.] I'm planning on goin to grad school to pursue things that I actually give 2 sh.its about, not math and oceanography.

I really needed to vent. Thanks if you read this far. I really appreciate it.