[magests74]

My ex borke up with me int hat he was not ready to have me spend a ton of time with his 9 year old daughter.

I actually admire how protective he was of her feelings, but at the same time feel rather hurt that after 7 months I was not special enough to to him to have me mix in with his daughter.

Granted his ex-wife and her parents filled the poor girls head with notions like - "Your dad will remarry, have more kids and forget all about you."Needless to say the poor girl is petrified with even the thought of her dad dating.

All in all it was not meant to be. Still leaves me rather sad and heart broken. Done with the tears though. There are ton of people much worse off than me. My greatest accomplishment is that I have not contacted him in three weeks and feel less and less like I want to.

Your comments and insights would be greatly appreciated.

[Groovy]

I'm sorry that happened. It would hurt my feelings too. The way I see it is he was never serious about you. If he was you would have met the kid. Being in my 30's with no kids I date a lot of people with kids.

My ex moved in and I had a room for the son. I met him quickly in the relationship because I think he just knew how he felt toward me and 3 years later we moved in together. I also dated someone who wanted me to meet his 2 kids recently. I was the one who wasn't quite ready because unlike my ex I didn't know if it was long term as much as he did.

Just because someone has a kid doesn't mean they are mature, adjusted or committment ready. A lot of them are like high schoolers who want to play the field and do as much as parenthood allows. Unless your a horrible influence on the kids by using drugs, violence, swearing, acting like a tramp or have some other totally inappropriate kid behavior I would say he just wasn't serious as you wanted. None of us are perfect. It sounds like it was all for the best and it's HIS issue to deal with. He'll probably do the same thing to the next lady in his life.....