I am a stay at home mother. My husband works out of town, he moved all his things out and he is preparing our house for the move this summer, he comes home every weekend. When he is over visiting, i feel like a little girl. I get shy and don't initiate anything with him. He is a loving man and he desrves to have love. I need some ideas on how to spice up our relationship. We have been together for over 9yrs and have 2 children, 6 and 1. Can anyone share some of their experiences? Thanks a lot. I appreciate the advice you can share.

[midori]

He's your husband, surely you have a sense of what he likes by now. In my experience, one of the strongest aphrodesiacs is knowing that someone really wants you. I know that's true for me, as a woman (my female friends & I have discussed this and they concur). I expect it's true for men too.

If you and your husband are coping with moving your family because of his job, you are both under a lot of obvious strain, which he might feel responsible for. His brief weekend visits might seem, to him, to be time for him to make up for his absence the rest of the time, relieve you of childcare burdens, SEE his children, deal with nit-picking details. And hey, he should feel that way to a certain extent. But perhaps he's so caught up in that (and perhaps you are too) that you don't make time for maintaining your physical relationship.

If your husband is feeling bad about leaving you with the kids he may be worried that you're overtaxed, and he might think that the last thing you want is sex. Why not make it clear that's not the case? Doesn't mean that you have to lure him into the bedroom and surprise him by wearing a sexy negligee, but you just sit there waiting and hoping he'll make a move, you might find his shyness and your shyness are getting in the way.

It's a stressful time. Might be times you don't feel like it. There might be times that he won't feel like it. Don't take it personally. Just let him know that you want him!

[quankanne]

I can't think of a guy who doesn't appreciate good food, or better yet, ice cream. Break the ice by doing something special for his tummy, then gradually ease into a more intimate situation. Chances are, he misses being coddled or spoiled, and a lot of times a special dish lets him know that you appreciate him. I know this sounds off the wall, but I think once he sees that you're doing that special something for him in this way, and you see that it pleases him, it gradually spreads to other areas....