[stace79]

So my fiance was diagnosed with Lyme disease at least five years ago. They didn't discover it until several years after he likely contracted it, so what this typically means, according to literature, is that my fiance will never be totally "cured" and may always have some recurring symptoms.

Does anyone else have experience with chronic Lyme disease or something similar, that basically is not a terminal illness or horribly crippling, but can be a major nuisance?

I am having difficulty dealing with this part of our relationship, because it often means that he will have unexpected flare-ups. Symptoms will be very vague, like muscle aches, tingling sensations or weakness in the extremities. He will occasionally back out of plans because of these symptoms. Frequently, these obligations we've planned are important to me, and I often wonder if we will work out long term if he is unable or unwilling to do more. He also wonders sometimes if I'm right for him, because I get so irritable when he calls last minute and claims he cannot go to something because of his vague symptoms (and frankly, symptoms that do not seem like a big deal to me).

I grew up in a family believing that if you don't have a fever or you're not throwing up all over yourself, that you get up and go to work/school/other-obligation. He says he needs me to be more understanding and flexible.

Any insight from those dealing with something similar, or suggestions as to how I can improve?

[WineCountry]

He sounds like someone I dated. Does he live in CT?

The guy I dated had a girlfriend leave him because of the same issues you are stating. He and I dated a short period of time, as I didnt feel any chemistry there. So, i didnt really get to deal with a lot of the issues he had going on. I know it was hard for him to deal with his condition.

I guess you just have to ask yourself if this is something you are willing to deal with. At first, I thought it was awful of his prior girlfriend to leave him over that. BUT..if she KNEW she could not deal with it, it would have been unfair to both of them to put themselves through that.