Need tips and pointers. Don't wanna mess up

7th January 2003, 7:12 PM

Hi All,

I need some really good tips and pointers of "playing it cool" I've fallen for someone and I think I have a chance so long as I play my cards right.

I'm a very generous person and will do anything and everything in my power to help another or make them happy (male or female). The problem is, this guy does not really know me and can potentially mistake my generosity... I don't want him thinking that I have hidden motives for doing nice things for him. I offered to drive him somewhere and later thought I should not have done that. But it worked out THAT time. I took him and in return he offered to make me dinner and buy me a drink. He made good on those offers.

I know I don't want to be too available to him, overly nice, look like I'm only coming around to see him (when in fact I have friends and family where he is). He was out of state for a long while and in his absence, I was going over there to see my friends/family almost every day and for sure every weekend. But he was gone so he does not know that! I don't want to be showing up that much because I fear he'll think it's because of him. (Is this making sense?) I've decided to not go back there until the weekend... but even that seem soon. I just saw him yesterday.

This weekend to my surprise I bumped into him and he asked to go out and do something. We did and had a blast (hung out all weekend pretty much alone), then later commented on wanting to make that a weekly occurence.

But I need to do this cautiously, I don't want to set myself up for being "used" or taken advantage of (so far it's not), I want him to make the moves... but give him proper signals at the proper times. How do I do this casually??? Play hard to get, but not make him think it's impossible... you catch my drift?

Suggestions?

Sketchy · 7th January 2003, 7:40 PM

In reference to this line:
"This weekend to my surprise I bumped into him and he asked to go out and do something. We did and had a blast (hung out all weekend pretty much alone), then later commented on wanting to make that a weekly occurence. "

Like I said he was out of state for a long time (1/2 a year) so it really was a surprise to bump into him. I had no clue he was back. The other thing, he was the one to comment on wanting to hang out weekly. (on the weekends).

Ally Boo · 8th January 2003, 12:28 PM

Do you like him as a dating prospect, or not?

Sketchy · 8th January 2003, 4:16 PM

Yes I like him as a dating prospect. I know if come straight out with it he'll run like hell... I think this all has to be done on his accord.

HokeyReligions · 8th January 2003, 6:44 PM

Why do you think he'll run like hell?

Ally Boo · 8th January 2003, 7:44 PM

The only thing I would see wrong is if you didn't want him to think that you like him...and were doing those things. Patience might be your best friend.

Sketchy · 8th January 2003, 8:23 PM

Well, I don't want him to think that I like so much that my life evolves around him.

Sorry if I am running you guys around in circles here... I posted a while back about the entire situation which may give you more details. I was trying to keep this short as I have a tendency to be long winded. Maybe I can find the link to my original post? If so I'll post it in this thread.

I don't want to "cramp his style". I know his past, but something in me tells me he actually likes me. Which is why this is so confusing. I know that he's a player (he's admitted it and we've joked about it) so I don't think that he would need to put the player moves on me cause i know that about him. If I had no clue was a player then he would do certain things to keep the door open for another booty call. But seeing as how I know that about him... he can just be straight up about it being ONLY sex. So I can't tell if he is just doing what he knows best... or if it's genuine?

I think we both originally planned on FWB but were plesantly surprised at how well we clicked. I think we are both sort of sitting in this wondering if it's more than FWB but neither of us want to cramp the others style...

I could be sooo wrong, which is why I fear he may run if I just out with it.

Sketchy · 8th January 2003, 8:34 PM

here is original story which happened last year. This is long and reading it is optional.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/show...ghlight=played

Leikela · 8th January 2003, 11:07 PM

[color=indigo]
It's plain and simple what you must do... Tell him how you feel!! If that is going to make him run for the hills, then you weren't meant to be together anyway and he is not ready for the kind of relationship that you want or expect. Sometimes we need to just lay it all out there and forget about the games. You never know... He might surprise you and tell you he feels the same way. You'll never know unless you take the plunge and lay your heart out there!

[/color]

9th January 2003, 11:38 AM

Why not just ask him what he is looking for with you? It seems
as though you both want the same thing. You have a fear of communication a bit maybe because you are scared to hear the truth, (trust me I am going through the exact same thing) but really just ask then you will know. I just did that before coming on here and to my surprize it was not what I thought , it was better. Trust what you feel, do not be scared that you will "cramp his style" remember he likes your style or he would not have made you dinner. You offerd to do something for you and to tell you the truth he repay was very nice, showed me that he does have a intrest in you.
Good Luck wiht everything
K.J