No idea where to put this. Since I post here most and it's somewhat on topic, Dating it is.
Now and then my neighbor and I hang out on his front porch. He's got a great front porch. We talk, smoke some mary jane, play some of our songs, etc. Tonight it stormed pretty violently, so I went out onto my porch to bring in my freshly planted herbs so they wouldn't get shredded in the wind. He was on his porch, too, and said hello and invited me over to hang out. We watched the torrential downpour, played some guitar, had a good time.
He's a cool guy, but I am not interested in anything more than friendly with him. But I like being neighborly and keeping in touch. We watch each other's backs. I live in a small house within the borders of a major city, alone, so I want to know my neighbors so we can watch out for each other. I took all my neighbors plates of Christmas cookies after I moved in last fall.
Anyway, he has begun to flirt, and he flirts a little bit more every time I see him. Tonight, at the end, he goes, "Let me walk you home." Then he cutely walked me the 10 feet over to my front door.
Should I come right out and tell him I'm not interested in him in that way, or just continue to be a friendly neighbor but not respond to his flirting?
Right now it seems to be pretty tame stuff. I would continue and ignore the flirting , unless or until it becomes uncomfortable. Then have an honest, pleasant chat about boundaries.
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You took all the cookies?
Haha, I wouldn't worry too much about the neighbor, until he decides to back you up against the wall and tries to kiss you.
Be friendly, just don't bend over like Edie Brit ( desperate housewives reference).
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I'd wait until one of those kick back nights, and say, "hey man, why don't you have a girl? You are so great to hang out with. Do you just prefer to be alone?"
Let him say whatever.
And then say, "I was just wondering because I am one of those people that just doesn't want that kind of attention. So if you were like me I'd understand you not wanting to deal with dates or anything like that."
They usually get the hint then that you aren't interested in dating them or a relationship AT ALL.
And you can use it forever.
If he sees you with a guy and says, "hey, I thought you didn't want to date."
Then you say, "I know but I figured I'd challenge myself. LOL" --- or it was a blind date set up by someone else - or your family started giving you crap for being alone, etc.
And then as long as you are dating the guy -- you can't date the neighbor because you're taken.
Then if it ends you just lament in how stupid you were that you went back on your own rule and that you will not be doing that again!
The last time he said something flirty and seemed to be waiting for a response, I said, "I'm just being neighborly." Yet he persists. I think I will tell him straight up that I am not interested in getting involved with anyone right now -- this is true.
Trust me, guys dont get subtle hints, because we dont want to. We want to push over obstacles, and like a little challenge.
You should make it pretty clear that youre not interested in dating him. Doing the whole 'I just dont want to date, but oh - heres me dating' crap is so annoying, and not original at all. Were not stupid, and that would just piss me off. If you want him to consider you a good friend and be a good neighbor, just be honest.
He just moved in in December, and we've only hung out a few times, when we happened to both be out on the porch and had some time to spare. We weren't in his house -- we were sitting on the porch watching the rainstorm. After a while, he asked me in (it was too dark to see my music notebook that I needed to see), but I said I'd rather stay outside and enjoy the rain, and that's what we did.
Just drop in a word about another love interest, even if its a fake "potential" love interest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruby Slippers
No idea where to put this. Since I post here most and it's somewhat on topic, Dating it is.
Now and then my neighbor and I hang out on his front porch. He's got a great front porch. We talk, smoke some mary jane, play some of our songs, etc. Tonight it stormed pretty violently, so I went out onto my porch to bring in my freshly planted herbs so they wouldn't get shredded in the wind. He was on his porch, too, and said hello and invited me over to hang out. We watched the torrential downpour, played some guitar, had a good time.
He's a cool guy, but I am not interested in anything more than friendly with him. But I like being neighborly and keeping in touch. We watch each other's backs. I live in a small house within the borders of a major city, alone, so I want to know my neighbors so we can watch out for each other. I took all my neighbors plates of Christmas cookies after I moved in last fall.
Anyway, he has begun to flirt, and he flirts a little bit more every time I see him. Tonight, at the end, he goes, "Let me walk you home." Then he cutely walked me the 10 feet over to my front door.
Should I come right out and tell him I'm not interested in him in that way, or just continue to be a friendly neighbor but not respond to his flirting?
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Then he cutely walked me the 10 feet over to my front door. 
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