No idea where to put this. Since I post here most and it's somewhat on topic, Dating it is.
Now and then my neighbor and I hang out on his front porch. He's got a great front porch. We talk, smoke some mary jane, play some of our songs, etc. Tonight it stormed pretty violently, so I went out onto my porch to bring in my freshly planted herbs so they wouldn't get shredded in the wind. He was on his porch, too, and said hello and invited me over to hang out. We watched the torrential downpour, played some guitar, had a good time.
He's a cool guy, but I am not interested in anything more than friendly with him. But I like being neighborly and keeping in touch. We watch each other's backs. I live in a small house within the borders of a major city, alone, so I want to know my neighbors so we can watch out for each other. I took all my neighbors plates of Christmas cookies after I moved in last fall.
Anyway, he has begun to flirt, and he flirts a little bit more every time I see him. Tonight, at the end, he goes, "Let me walk you home." Then he cutely walked me the 10 feet over to my front door.
Should I come right out and tell him I'm not interested in him in that way, or just continue to be a friendly neighbor but not respond to his flirting?
Right now it seems to be pretty tame stuff. I would continue and ignore the flirting , unless or until it becomes uncomfortable. Then have an honest, pleasant chat about boundaries.
Location: The Big Giant Apple, mind you, it's pretty delicious
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You took all the cookies?
Haha, I wouldn't worry too much about the neighbor, until he decides to back you up against the wall and tries to kiss you.
Be friendly, just don't bend over like Edie Brit ( desperate housewives reference).
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"To regret one's own experiences is to arrest one's own development. To deny one's own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one's own life. It is no less than a denial of the soul.", De Pronfundis, Wilde
I'd wait until one of those kick back nights, and say, "hey man, why don't you have a girl? You are so great to hang out with. Do you just prefer to be alone?"
Let him say whatever.
And then say, "I was just wondering because I am one of those people that just doesn't want that kind of attention. So if you were like me I'd understand you not wanting to deal with dates or anything like that."
They usually get the hint then that you aren't interested in dating them or a relationship AT ALL.
And you can use it forever.
If he sees you with a guy and says, "hey, I thought you didn't want to date."
Then you say, "I know but I figured I'd challenge myself. LOL" --- or it was a blind date set up by someone else - or your family started giving you crap for being alone, etc.
And then as long as you are dating the guy -- you can't date the neighbor because you're taken.
Then if it ends you just lament in how stupid you were that you went back on your own rule and that you will not be doing that again!
Just drop in a word about another love interest, even if its a fake "potential" love interest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruby Slippers
No idea where to put this. Since I post here most and it's somewhat on topic, Dating it is.
Now and then my neighbor and I hang out on his front porch. He's got a great front porch. We talk, smoke some mary jane, play some of our songs, etc. Tonight it stormed pretty violently, so I went out onto my porch to bring in my freshly planted herbs so they wouldn't get shredded in the wind. He was on his porch, too, and said hello and invited me over to hang out. We watched the torrential downpour, played some guitar, had a good time.
He's a cool guy, but I am not interested in anything more than friendly with him. But I like being neighborly and keeping in touch. We watch each other's backs. I live in a small house within the borders of a major city, alone, so I want to know my neighbors so we can watch out for each other. I took all my neighbors plates of Christmas cookies after I moved in last fall.
Anyway, he has begun to flirt, and he flirts a little bit more every time I see him. Tonight, at the end, he goes, "Let me walk you home." Then he cutely walked me the 10 feet over to my front door.
Should I come right out and tell him I'm not interested in him in that way, or just continue to be a friendly neighbor but not respond to his flirting?
When people are a bit smitten, they don't get subtlety. They'll choose to ignore the hints that someone is not attracted in favour of the possibility they are interested. I'm sure he wants to read into things because he has a crush on you.
You can throw out the friend word- but I guarantee he'll wonder if you only threw out the word because he hasn't been blatent enough about his intentions.
I've been in the same situation and as much as I hinted I wasn't interested, he didn't get it until I cam out and said it. Even after that he still pursued. I think it will take being up front the next time he says anything or you get a vibe...
__________________ "Running around, robbing banks, all whacked on the Scooby Snacks"..... BloodHound Gang (FLC)
I've been in the same situation and as much as I hinted I wasn't interested, he didn't get it until I cam out and said it. Even after that he still pursued. I think it will take being up front the next time he says anything or you get a vibe...
I completely agree. Why are people so afraid of being direct?
He hasn't expressed interest directly to her by asking her out. In order to shortcut it getting to that point, she should be relatively subtle. Why ruin a potential friendship with a neighbor, by being assumptive?
Today he stopped me to say hi as I was taking off on a walk to the grocery store, and he said he told his friends that the other night playing music and hanging out on his porch in the rainstorm was one of the most enjoyable nights he's had in a long time. Then he goes, "And we didn't even have sex!"
I said I had a great time, too, but, "I want to be friends and neighbors. It's a lost art." He said he agreed with that. Seemed to take it gracefully.
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Then he cutely walked me the 10 feet over to my front door. 
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