[pooper]

Here's the situation that I'm hoping both guys and girls will shed some light on. I met this guy a few weeks ago at a bar through one of my roomates from college. We hit it off that night and after all his buddies left he asked me to stay for another drink and I did. When we parted ways that evening he asked for my number and then waited a week to call. His message said he'd had a hectic week between work and studying for some financial exams he needed to take soon.

I called him back the following day and he asked me out for Wednesday. On Tuesday he called to confirm the date, place, time etc. Then wednesday afternoon he called to say he was feeling overwhelmed between having to study for the exams, work stress etc and that if it was alright if he canceled until after the exams were over. I didnt see this as a good sign, but decided to be patient and said no problem and he said Ill call this weekend.

Sure enough Monday he called and left a message apologizing for having had canceled our date and to say he had just taken his exams and was feeling back to his old self and to call him if i was still interested in going out. So I called him back and we set another date for that wednesday night. IT was great, we had nice light-hearted conversation, dinner at a low-key tavern and stayed out for about 4 hours. He kissed me goodnight and said we should do it again some time - i said sure just call me.

So that Saturday he did and said he was leaving town for a week on vacation and that hed like to see me before leaving on tuesday. i was busy on monday, so we settled for a sunday night date, this time he came to pick me up - we walked there together - had more fun conversation, drank some wine etc...all good. Then he suggested we walk for a bit and we talked some more and smiled some more - the feeling i got was all pretty positive. We said goodnight at my doorstep - he kissed me and said ill call you when i get back.

So now, he got back on Sunday night....it's now Friday afternoon and I havent heard a peep from him.....should I pretty much consider this guy to be a goner? Ive just always thought if a guy is genuinely interested in a girl....he would have called by now.

[Tony T]

People act in their own speed and there's no accounting for it. So regardless of what may be going on in his head, life goes on for you.

Even though he said he would call when he got back, he didn't say particularly when. He could be very interested but busy. There are a lot of things that may have him preoccupied.

For myself, if I was interested in a lady, I would have called her within a few days of returning from vacation but I'm not him.

I think you're best bet is to move on with life and not wait on him to make a move. Lots of other guys out there, you know! If he does call and you're in the mood, then you can react positively to that if you want to. But it really sounds like his priorities in life are not in the dating arena at this particular moment...or maybe he met a new honey while he was on vacation. If so, that's his problem.

[pooper]

thanks. i tend to agree with you that a guy will generally call a girl within a few days if he really likes her. my life has gone on, i dont tend to get hung up on boys that dont follow through - its just this guy seemed genuinely great and not a player...that's why im surprised by the lack of contact. i will give him a few more days before i put him in the "player" category -- which is fine by me, more than happpy to go out with him again, just know that for the long-run i dont want that.