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Family Parents too demanding? Sibling driving you mad? Tell us!

Old 2nd December 2002, 6:05 PM   #1
Patty
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Has anyone felt like this?

Has anyone ever felt like your other sibling is better?I do cause Im always asking my mother to go out and do things with me.But she is always saying nah I got things to do.Now if my sister called her up and asked her to get together ,Oh yes she defentely would.But doesnt seem to like to do things with me.I always felt she liked my other sister better then me.It really hurts.

Patty
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Old 2nd December 2002, 6:19 PM   #2
quankanne
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eggghhhhh ...

I think that's my singlemost pet peeve, being told that "so and so is mom's/dad's favorite." I'm the youngest of a big family, and am pretty close to my parents, esp. my mom, and because we're comfortable with each other's company, I spend a lot of time with her. Not because she loves the other five any less or me any more, but because we've got stuff in common. So I'm guessing that maybe your mom might feel uncomfortable with the idea of hanging out because she doesn't think she is able to relate with you as well as she does your sister, not that she favors one child over another.

your initial question, do I feel any of my siblings are better than me? I recognize (and appreciate) their gifts/talents, but I don't feel threatened by them now that I've come to realize that my folks love all of us because we're theirs. lol, now if you've asked if my sibs drive me nuts, I could go chapter and verse on that subject!

don't get yourself down, Patty. Instead, find out what your mom's interests are -- you'd be surprised at what you learn -- and see if you have any of them in common. That might go a long way in helping you find things to do together.
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Old 2nd December 2002, 6:49 PM   #3
HokeyReligions
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good post quankanne

I have to say - I am my mothers favorite. We have more in common and I've been there for her more than my siblings ever were. Consequently, she's been there for me more because I let her know I depend on her. My sister hated me because mom had to take care of me when I was a baby and that took her attention away from my sister. So my sister acted out and began resenting ME even though it wasn't my fault. As we got older I picked up on that anger that she turned on me and on our mother and I became protective of mom -- I could see how much my sister hurt her.

My mom doesn't love me any more than the others -- that's not what I mean by favorite. She loves us all with the same amount of love -- but in different ways. She is still so hurt by my sister and my sister never learned how to get close to mom - but only how to hurt her and push her away. I guess I learned from my sister's mistakes.

Why not tell your mom how you feel? She might not even be aware that she is hurting your feelings and I'm sure it's the last thing she wants to do.
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Old 18th December 2002, 12:04 PM   #4
pinkroses
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Your mother may

just have a different type of relationship with your sister, which involves going places together more. My mother has a very different relationship with me and my sister. She is very comfortable and open with me, but she looks up to my sister more than she does me. She tends to see me as weaker. I was my parents' favorite growing up because I was no trouble to them and didn't assert myself, yet I was often jealous of my sister who had all the friends and the fun.

All that to say, there's no true platform with which to compare yourself to anyone. Everyone has something special about him or her, and a different calling in life.
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