This is an interesting theoretical kinda question. As a woman, do you want to feel like you chose your SO, or that he chose you? Obviously, both people have to "choose" one another for a relationship to happen, but which would you want to be predominant? And why?
While these days, women have become much more picky (probably excessively so), there's still a sizable minority, that would be perfectly happy to just be chosen.
Last edited by Isolde; 26th March 2009 at 6:37 PM..
While I would NEVER date someone just because he chose me, I'd rather be chosen, all other things being equal, because my intuition isn't very well developed. Unfortunately, I'm also relatively picky.
Women want to be chosen by a guy they have 'pre-chosen' initially. No woman wants to be approached by a random guy at a bar, they want the cute guy at the end to come up and talk to them.
I'm not sure if this makes any sense to anyone but me, but I dont think women generally just want anyone walking up to them looking for a date.
And now a days, women are somewhat exessively picky, but you cant blame people for having standards.
Women want to be chosen by a guy they have 'pre-chosen' initially.
This is exactly what I was trying to say, but couldn't quite word it. We want to have our cake and eat it too
In the situation that I had three prospective dates (I never have that many guys lined up, but let's just pretend, for the sake of argument), of which I'd date any of them, I'd rather be selected by one, than choose myself. This is probably somewhat due to the fact that I'm not very experienced, so I'd rather play it safe until I trust my intuition more.
I do agree that women choose more in the beginning of dating, men choose whether to actually go with an R.
I would never want to be in the position of starting an R.
Last edited by Isolde; 26th March 2009 at 6:47 PM..
I prefer to choose but want my choice to approach me. Numbers don't mean anything to me. I only want to be approached by my choice. So...that means he has to figure it out first.
I prefer to choose but want my choice to approach me. Numbers don't mean anything to me. I only want to be approached by my choice. So...that means he has to figure it out first.
Thats kind of what I was trying to get it.
Waiting for guys to 'figure it out' usually doesnt work, though
I prefer to choose but want my choice to approach me. Numbers don't mean anything to me. I only want to be approached by my choice. So...that means he has to figure it out first.
YEAH!!!
Exactly.
Here's to having imaginary cake and devouring it
Except in your case, it's real, yay!
YEAH!!!
Exactly.
Here's to having imaginary cake and devouring it
Except in your case, it's real, yay!
You do have to give some signs of interest, as subtle or as bold as your personality dictates. Hence flirtation through eye contact and body language, before he approaches. Then when he does approach, add flirtatious language and light touch to the mix.
Women want to be chosen by a guy they have 'pre-chosen' initially. No woman wants to be approached by a random guy at a bar, they want the cute guy at the end to come up and talk to them.
WRONG! I love to be approached by random guys anywhere, even when I am taken this happens and I don't mind at all. But ultimately I like to have the choice of saying I am flattered but no thanks, or yes here's my number.
I don't think it's wanting your cake and eating it too, I think it is wanting to hold off for the type of man that is best suited for us.
Personally, I prefer men that are self-confident who go after what they want. The typical "hunters" type of men and it has nothing to do with money or great looks or anything material, just a man that feels confident enough in what he has to offer as little as that may be that he will approach a woman he finds appealing. This is how I have always met men. Some of the least attractive men I have fallen in love with had so much charisma and drive in this sense I was completely taken a back by their energy, SO SEXY!.
A man that sits on his butt whining about how he can't meet any women, and hopes that women will be knocking at his door for is not the type of guy I find attractive. It denotes qualities that will later prove be too passive in the realm of the relationship and how he handles life in general. No thanks!
I prefer to be protected by my man, not be made to be his mother/baby sitter.
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