Help-he's in love with strippers!

2nd November 2002, 8:32 PM

Hi-I'm new to this site and in need of desperate help...

First let me begin by telling you I'm23 and my boyfreind is41,I'm
deeply in love with him.However he has a severe need to be around strippers,he says it's not for the sex but for the flirting and he loves lap dances...
I've accomodated his needs and we've been out to clubs a lot together-I've even gotten escorts for him.I am very attractive and very faithful ,the thought of losing him terrifies him but his overiding need for other women irritates me.I want to know how I can handle this better...

Bill · 2nd November 2002, 8:47 PM

What you need is a real man, not some jerk who needs a stripper to satisfy him.
You're 23 and he's 41!!! That is some severe age difference. He could be your father! All that aside... I think he has some problems.

What exactly makes you love this man?

Perhaps I've been too nice in my life being completely devoted to my girlfriends, then having them dump me for someone like your man.

If he can't fully devote himself to you, HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU, no matter how much he says it. He has already proved you can't satisfy him. It's obvious! Maybe you are a very attractive female and all, but he's wacky.

If you are attractive, and female, you will have NO problems getting another guy. Maybe you have the need to be with someone, but you seem to just want to be with anyone, even if he doesn't consider your thoughts and feelings.

This is quite sad that a girl like yourself would stay with someone like this. Now I know where all the girls go, ... they go with the *********s that treat them like $hit.

I finally did find a girl that WANTED to be treated good over a half a year ago. She must be VERY rare.

Dump this prick.

Why take the abuse when you can be find someone who would worship the ground you walk on?

Just A Girl2 · 2nd November 2002, 9:31 PM

You say his attraction to, and time spent with strippers, isn't about sex. Surely you don't believe that?

You've gotten escorts for him before? Um, an escort is a more politically correct term for prostitute, hooker, call girl, ho. Why would you get your boyfriend some sleazebag to have sex with?, cuz you know they didn't get together for coffee or to play a few games of Monopoly.

Why would any self-respecting woman hire a hooker for her boyfriend? Can you explain this please?

Why would you put up with an old fart who has no respect for you? A man who's respectful of his girlfriend doesn't need strippers, lap dances or to flirt with other women, period.

Are you letting him brainwash/manipulate you into believing that he's a "good guy" who's not doing anything wrong?

So he's supposedly not having sex with all these other women? (think again)

You're young, you say you're faithful and attractive....why would you put up with this putz? Is this your first serious relationship and you're just not sure what expectations you should have?

Why would you even go to strip clubs with your guy.....all you're doing is encouraging and enabling him to disrespect you.

Ally Boo · 4th November 2002, 2:07 PM

Um I think you are really confused. This guy doesn't love you...he loves trashy women. Why dont you offer to give him a lap dance...and while you are doing it...kick him in the nuts. Oh wait, he might like that...

quankanne · 4th November 2002, 6:38 PM

then after you've kicked him good an hard, leave! he's not worthy of thedirty bathwater you leave behind, no matter how much you profess to love him.

what is it with people thinking they have to put up with utter nonsense like this to prove their love to jerks? maybe I'm just not "with it," but I guaran-dam-tee that I would accept no less from a man that what I'm willing to give him. If that means being loyal and faithful to him, he'd better be prepared to live by the same stakes if he's serious about a relationship.

HokeyReligions · 4th November 2002, 6:54 PM

If you don't have any self respect, than at least have some sense about disease! The ONLY thing guaranteed to prevent Pregnancy, AIDS, or other STD's is abstinence. If he kisses them, then kisses you -- YUCK! Think about it and stop it. You are worth more than that - I'm sure there are men who would love to have a devoted and loving gf like you, so stop being a doormat.

pinkroses · 12th November 2002, 2:57 PM

of what you're talking about, but... My b/f is also 41 and he enjoyed going to strip clubs in the past too. However, after we met and started dating steadily he hasn't been back. He seems to have lost interest now that he has a relationship. He says he's getting too old for that stuff. He also knows I wouldn't like him going. He has a tendency to bring up past girlfriends, as I mentioned in another post, but there is no dallying with any other women, or going out places. I suspect your b/f sees you as just another stripper in his life. You're young and pretty and he's a voyeuristic lecher. Go to a college and try to meet some younger, nicer, educated young men with better futures. Don't put up with this garbage, you've got your whole life ahead of you.

29th November 2002, 5:07 PM

Sounds like a man with his head screwed on to me , get him more women from a brothel and tell us more about what happens

mighty bop · 3rd December 2002, 12:03 AM

Sounds like he's a guy that just likes women as entertainment, plain and simple.

Paul · 3rd December 2002, 12:28 AM

Looking on the bright side, holiday shopping should be pretty straight forward for you!

Which brings me to wonder--do such risque establishments offer gift certificates?

HokeyReligions · 3rd December 2002, 9:51 AM

Actually Yes, Paul. Some do offer gift certificates/coupons!

How do I know? you ask.

I designed a series of gift certificates and coupons and worked on an ad campaign for a "gentlemen's club" and was paid quite well for it!

How did I find that job? Well, when I was in college the second time (I was in my 40's then) for a class assignment I designed a coupon book for my husband. Things like "One Free Backrub" "One evening with the remote control and no arguments from me" "One couch potato Sunday, with all the football you can watch" and some other coupons that I won't say here (hee hee) One of my fellow students was a stripper and we got to talking and she introduced me to the manager and we discussed an ad campaign and it went from there.

Paul · 3rd December 2002, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HokeyReligions
Actually Yes, Paul. Some do offer gift certificates/coupons!

Well, who says you don't learn something new every day?

Thanks, HokeyReligions.

Tony T · 3rd December 2002, 11:01 AM

How did I ever miss this post a month ago? This is the woman of my dreams...a lady who will consent to come along with me when I go to strip clubs and get lap dances. WOW!!! I didn't even know they made women like this.