My mother to cervical cancer, my father to a stroke. Their ages where 44 & 47 respectively. I am 27 years old and I had not seen my father since I was a child but had a relationship via the phone with his as he lived in UK and I lived in Australia. When I was due to move to France we had a week planned with my Father and his wife and my two stepsisters (7 & 10) for a holiday, we were to stay with them, I was so excited.
He died two weeks before I was due to arrive, when I found out my partner and I were on the next flight, I made it for the funeral. I was and still am very much devistated.
Quandry...my stepmother is appaling on so many levels. She is 30, from Thailand and has the maturity of a 12 year old - seriously. She wore a stripper dress and shoes to the funeral and further assisted my "aunts" in getting rid of me after the funeral (so I would not be able to claim any inheritance as there was no will) My father had nothing to do with his sisters and all of a sudden they were her best friends, all the while she was telling me to hold my toungue - that they were awful and would be gone soon. I end up leaving the day after the funeral, she called several days later after they had left and asked me to come back. I said no.
One month later she has a new boyfriend. They move in together. The boyfriends mother takes all of my Fathers things to the charity shop. I get sent a shirt, a lock of hair and a hand print of my Father taken after he died (creepiest package I ever recieved). Nothing has been left for my half-sisters to remember him by. She has sold/rid of everything. She calls me periodically, has asked for money once - I refused and talks about how much she loves me, I cant stand it but I endure it for my little sisters. Thing is I cant talk to them privately anymore, my stepmother always has me on speaker phone. I know the girls arent happy but I am helpless to do anything.
So am I am left wondering.....do I stop contact all together, or do I continue with this heart wrenching torture just to know my little sisters?
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'Je suis dans l'amour avec une petite grenouille'
I lived through similar circumstance although much more traumatic for me my parents are both dead and seriously it just sux to deal with the ridiculouse step parent and inherit nothing and see things that mean so much just given away.
I lived through similar circumstance although much more traumatic for me my parents are both dead and seriously it just sux to deal with the ridiculouse step parent and inherit nothing and see things that mean so much just given away.
I am confused how its much more traumatic for you BOTH my parents are dead, All within one year. (6 months apart really) can you elaborate on what you mean?
It was so hard - I wasnt acknowledged at the funeral as his daughter - so many people didnt even know I existed
IMO you should make it clear to your step-sisters that you are there whenever they need you , but dont try to maintain contact (maybe occasionally though just to let them know you are there). You don't like thier mother and she sounds like she doesn't like you, she is there mother so there is litle you can do.
Concentrate on your own life and stay away from the damaging relationship with her.
I was never interested in the inheritance - Im pissed there is nothing left for the girls - they are just kids.
I dont know what a thai GRO is - she has lived in the UK since she was 4 - my father being fairly wealthy kept her comfortable but they never saved anythng as is my understanding. My partner and I realised that everything was for show and there was no money - we were going to stay in the UK and work and help her back on her feet - until she betrayed us with the 'aunts'
Don't give up on the inheritance issue yet for the sake of the girls. I have just done a quick google and it does not seem to be clear cut that a wife would inherit everything when there are children but no will. I think you need to take some legal advice soon.
let the "aunts" deal with his wife, and just keep contacts with your little sisters, like writing them or sending them little things that'll mean something to them, but that she can't hock or get rid of (colorful pens and stickers and stationery are a huge hit with little girls!).
I'm truly sorry to hear about the loss of both your parents – mine died five years apart, and I just cannot imagine a double loss like that in such a short time.
hugs,
quank
__________________ The best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
Keep in touch with the little girls if you love them as sisters. Dealng with the step parent could get easier over time but dont push it if you cant manage this.
Oh! Right - no, well not for the purposes of residency anyways, she was definatley clearly my Fathers play thing though I didn't know she was like that until the death
My heart is so torn with it all - I just wish she would disappear and the girls would live with me...
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