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Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Old 2nd September 2002, 12:33 AM   #1
lostrealization
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helpless

i have fallen in love with my best friend. we met about 6 months ago online and have talked everyday since then. we had become best friends and over this time we basically fell in love. he recently visited me this weekend and things were good. i kept getting mixed signals on what he was feeling. we both cried when he had to go home. i guess my question is. what do i do now? do i just let it go in his hands and see where he wants to take this or do i act normal and be how i am. i dont wanna seem pushy but i dont want to lose him on this level. i love him with all my heart and hes my first true love. hes the only thing i want right now. i feel like i almost cant breathe without him. i may sound crazy but ive never felt this before. i just need some advice! can anyone help?? thanks a million Amanda
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Old 2nd September 2002, 2:29 AM   #2
Jonarsh
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Thumbs up do wat you have to do...

you are undergoing a heavy crush...
all i have to say is to follow your heart, I know that you are afraid of being too pushy, you might trigger a reverse effect..rite?? I just feel that nowadays, it doesn't really matter if a girl expresses her love first, instead of waiting for the guy to do so, coz ultimately, if both of you are meant to be together...you will be..so relax...go slowly.

You know, there are a lot of little things you can do to show him that you like him, like cooking him a meal, etc..stuff like that.
And if he responds in a positive manner, as in he really appreciates what you have done and gives you something in return...then you are on the right track. But if you sense some awkwardness, which I think it's pretty obvious, then you should pull back...know what I mean?

Jo.
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Old 2nd September 2002, 2:38 AM   #3
lostrealization
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yeah i think so. its just i dont wanna let him go. i dont wanna think about him dating other girls or even thinking about other girls. he says he thinks im an awesome person and he had a great time this weekend and he definitely wants to see me again. i dont konw what to think of it all right now. it almost feels like things have changed between us and its crushing me. what do you think that means? what he said? is it just an easy way of him saying listen your cool but i dont love you like that anymore or what?
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Old 2nd September 2002, 1:33 PM   #4
Ally Boo
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tell him

You gotta tell him, it's only fair. Otherwise you are punishing yourself and him, and it's not a true friendship bc its not in the open and misleading.
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That's just what I think....
Ally

UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better. It's not.

"The Lorax" Dr. Seuss
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Old 2nd September 2002, 2:02 PM   #5
lostrealization
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well he does know i love him. we both have said it to each other. but every since we actually seen each other this weekend it seems like everything is different. and he says he wants to see how things go when we both get busy. i dunno its breaking my heart its like hes changed his mind about loving me or something.
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Old 2nd September 2002, 2:11 PM   #6
Ally Boo
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I've been there

The transition from being best friends to being more than friends is very weird. I couldn't help but feel like I was kissing my brother at first....its a thing in the head. It may turn out that you both decide you like being friends instead.
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Old 2nd September 2002, 2:13 PM   #7
lostrealization
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but it wasnt like that this weekend. we both showed affection but when he got home last night he acted all wierd like he almost didnt wanna talk.
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Old 2nd September 2002, 2:17 PM   #8
Ally Boo
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um heard of talking?

Why dont you talk to him then...we dont know what's in his head. LOL
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Old 2nd September 2002, 2:19 PM   #9
lostrealization
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i did talk to him. he said he wanted to see how things went when we both got busy this year. that im an awesome person and he is still interested in me. but i almost think he thinks he has to be so he wont hurt my feelinsg or something. if hes not why doesnt he just tell me? its gonna crush me either way obviously.
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Old 2nd September 2002, 2:22 PM   #10
Ally Boo
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NOO

I mean ask him why he got quiet the other night.
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Old 2nd September 2002, 2:25 PM   #11
lostrealization
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im so scared of what hes going to tell me. its gonna break my heart i have a feeling. and he told me we would see each other again but it would be awhile. i just wanna crawl under a rock or something.
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Old 2nd September 2002, 2:28 PM   #12
Ally Boo
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Well

Its not doing you any good sitting there and wondering, you are being sad either way.
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Old 2nd September 2002, 2:30 PM   #13
lostrealization
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lol thanks
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