[ann-onymous]

i'm 20 years old, a student, living at home for the summer, planning to go back to school in a few weeks, etc... i just recently began seeing a guy and a few issues have arised- probably just on my part that i may just need to get over first off, he dated a friend of mine, somebody who broke up with him, has since graduated and moved away from school, but i still keep in contact with (same major as myself, gives me advice, tips, etc on school and work- not relationships)... she now knows about us but i have yet to speak with her directly about it, this is one thing that at first held me back from the idea of he and i dating, but now i have put aside. secondly, he lives 4 hours away - we have seen eachother every weekend since school ended, surprisingly and talk on the phone and email constantly. this is great and all, but i am afraid that the excitement that comes with weekend visits will wear off, or just plain disappear once i move back to school... this is very new, we are moving along quite well together and even have plans to do things months ahead of the present- which means we are serious about continuing to see eachother exclusively (any sort of long term commitment is not even close being in the picture). anyway, i guess i need to adress my point: i'm pretty much not too sure about how to approach the transition between seeing eachother long distance and seeing eachother "short-distance" for the lack of a better word. i'm worried that i will have built up certain expectations about him from just talking indirectly (not face to face)... and of course physically we have moved along quickly just from our frequent visits- it's not so easy to just pick up where we left off from, because the two situations are quite different! anyway- these are my concerns... can somebody maybe shed some light on this , perhaps somebody who has been through the same situation. i just need a little reassurance sorry for the lengthiness of the entry.

[Tony T]

I don't see a problem here. You see him almost as often as many people who are dating and live in the same town. You speak to him often, you exchange email.

The only change that may occur when you live in the same town is you'll see each other slightly more often, you won't email much but you'll still talk on the phone. I just don't see how seeing him slightly more often will change things much.

If you start seeing him for hours every day, yes, you will burn things out pretty fast. You need to keep a similar pace in the relationship as you have now.

You are also correct that expectations can destroy relationships. That's why you ought to stop having any and stop worry about how things are going to go. When the two of you are once again in the same town, conduct the dating situation in the normal fashion. If things don't work out, it will have absolutely nothing to do with the transition...it will have to do with the fact that the two of you weren't meant for each other.

Love ALWAYS finds a way!!!

It's nice your girlfriend (his ex) is OK with all this. She's a real nice lady. You won't find many really mature, open mind friends like that who are concerned primarilly with YOUR happiness. Keep her for life if you don't keep him.

[Stormdesire]

Girl, just go with the flow. be happy,have fun. dont worry about what might happin or might go wrong . its part of the relationship. the what ifs, the wonder, hope ! Dont look for problems where there is none, there will be plenty of that anyway no matter how great a relationship. keep cool and whatever happins will happin you two were either meant to be or not and time will tell you all you need to know. Just enjoy your relationship whatever it brings !!!!!! GOOD LUCK