[Tessa]

Does absence really make the heart grow founder or does it make the heart forget?

[quankanne]

... on who you're talking about.

If you're emotionally close to someone (say like a family member or friend), even when you're apart, you think of them fondly. If it's someone you don't have that emotional investment bond with, then they generally tend to fade away from your thoughts.

In the case of guys going out with girls, I think we covered the topic awhile back: guys don't really think of a relationship in the same terms as we do, and sometimes come across as uninterested when in fact they're content with things and don't feel a need to continually mull over a relationship the way us gals do. Something to do with that Y-chromosome, just calmly existing and happily going 'doot-de-doot' as we drive ourselves nuts trying to figure out what they're thinking, why they're quiet or if they're really happy!

There's no way to second guess if a guy misses you or not, you just have to ask point-blank unless you've invested so much time with him that you the answer.

[Tony T]

Absence helps people to forget. That's why it's good to cease all contact after a breakup...to help speed up the healing process.

No matter how intensely you may be in love with somebody, these feelings will diminish with time as the brain's neurotransmitters get busy processing other sensory and emotional information.

Maybe short term absenses can make you realize how much you care about somebody...but if that time extends on very far, you will cease caring so much.

I really think it's best that way.

A lot of these old sayings you hear from time to time are a bunch of crap.

[yes]

i more or less agree with tony.

it depends on the reasons u'r separated from the person, i think. also on how much contact you have with the other person. also on your history with 'em. as well as on your personal specifics - some people let go of people easily, some dont...

but generally, at first you miss them, but after some time it starts fading... especially if u'r busy, or u get interested in someone else.


but i think that with relatives it's entirely difft because the blood connection cannot be erased.

just some thoughts,
-yes

[velvet]

yes it does depending on the person, situation and emotional investment. It seems that at times some people don't register that question. Like it were nonexistent to them.

It just depends on how that person feels about you. Say the person has very deep strong feelings and you've known him for ten years. You might have something there could draw the person back or just a memory that may be hard to forget.