[Sammy]

I am getting married in about a month and my man is a porn addict. It realy bothers me. It makes me feel so inferior. I have told him how it makes me feel but now he just hides it.
I don't know what to do. Are any men ever realy truly satisfied?
Why can't he do this for me?

[Tony T]

Addiction to pornography is a serious danger sign in someone you are contemplating marrying. You would be wrong to ask him to do many things that he may enjoy but you are NOT wrong in asking him to reduce or eliminate this "hobby" or addiction. He may need psychological counselling to assist him.

One thing can lead to another until it totally backfires on you. Obsessing on naked pictures of other women is downright disrespectful to you and you shouldn't tolerate it. Some intermittent browsing of such material may be OK but there has to be a limit. Most men enjoy looking at an occasional naked lady other than their s/o but they don't make it an everyday thing.

Talk to him one more time and if he won't get help, postpone the engagement or just cancel it. It is far better for you to go through the hurt and pain now than for you to set yourself up for even greater hurt later. If you marry him full well knowing he has this problem, you will have absolutely no basis for complaining later...and I promise it will only get worse after you're married. Right now, he's supposed to be at his best behavior.

If you want to read about a similar experience of another person who posted on this site yesterday along with some of the responses, go here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/show...threadid=17355

Just remember, without serious intervention this problem won't get better and it very definitely has the potential for destroying the relationship...and doing serious, hopefully temporary, damage to your life.

Good luck.

[velvet]

On how seriously far the pornography goes. Does he have a massive collection of porn that he watches daily? I don't see a thing wrong with it unless he becomes obsessed with watching it. If you cannot handle it than you have to find a way to deal with it. Either leave him or grab his credit card and run to the mall while hes watching it. It might slow him down when he gets his credit card statement. Seriously! I would do it.

Marriage, is a completely different subject. All I can say is be totally sure of the person your with. You must be completely comfortable with a person before getting married. Love is not enough!

[Angel]

I would run, not walk as far away from this man as I could. Wandering eyes lead to wandering--it is plain and simple. Men love to downplay it and act like there is nothing wrong with it and that it is natural. Well, natural it may be, but unless we fight our "natural" desires everyone would be out "f.." on every corner. If he doesn't stop this behavior you will have a problem all your life---and these things get WORSE, not better. In any event, if you ask him to stop and he refuses by trying to rationalize how "normal" it is, he doesn't care how you feel. You don't want to be with a man that doesn't care how you feel. Good luck.