Good grief!
Is your post serious or what?
If it is, you should take your Mom's advice and fast. Why are always getting caught beating off......can't you control yourself? Get caught in public and you'll be in jail, mister. There's laws about that kind of indecent stuff (in public).
You sound so totally desperate. You don't care if a woman is fat or ugly, you just want a hand job? Is that all you think of woman, as someone to pull your pud? Pull your own pud and find someone to teach you about respecting women. It wouldn't hurt for you to get some professional help either as you sound very angry and like you expect women to want to get you off. Who do you think you are? It's obvious you think absolutely nothing of women, that they are only around to give you pleasure. Scary stuff.
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