Need help with a long-term relationship.

aly93084 · 19th June 2002, 12:17 AM

I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 19 months. For about the last 6 months things have gotten rough. He says he wants me to be more supportive, and more aggressive. This two things I have trouble with. I love him but need help with doing these things for him. Can anyone help me?

velvet · 19th June 2002, 12:51 AM

I'm not sure what your asking. More aggressive socially, physically, mentally? What?

Dating someone for more than a year is a long time to get know someone. Why see someone for such a long period of time than ask them to change? He should love you more and more each day he is with you.

Where does he want you to change? We could give you better advice if you explain in a little more detail.

aly93084 · 19th June 2002, 9:54 PM

Well, there was a time where he said I was perfect and aggressive (in bed) and then things happen and I went away to a strict no contact with family or anyone boarding school. Well, I changed and now he doesn't think I am aggressive enough in bed. I want to be but I seem to be too tight now, like when he goes in it is very tight and hurts me very bad. What are some suggestions to pleasing him more in bed?

20th June 2002, 2:23 AM

I say find someone closer to school that is willing to accept you as you are. When you are in bed with someone and it is soposed to be a loving relationship, it shouldn't always have to be aggressive. As for being tight. This means you aren't with anyone else and that should be a good thing to him.
You will be in a lot of relationships over the years, and the only person you really need to make sure is happy is yourself. You'd actually be suprised how attracted he will be to you as well as other guys, when you let them know that you put yourself first...everyone love a challenge. Good luck

aly93084 · 20th June 2002, 9:15 PM

what is meant by find someone closer to school? If it means someone who is close to me that I can see a lot, well, he lives like 2 miles away from me. He does give me love but he would also like aggrestion once in a while. I am trying to figure out how to give that to him instead of just having the same type of sex every time.

Guinness · 23rd June 2002, 8:24 PM

Seems like some part of you does not want to have sex with him or is not ready for it yet and that is why you are all thight and it hurts. And then when it hurts you shouldn't sleep with him but he should take time to make you feel comfortable again - then it will also be good in bed again. And then, you can't always be agressive and raw in bed because you simply just not always feel that way. he should accept that. If he doesn't he clearly is not worth the effort - to have good sex is not only up to you!