My fiance has not told his family yet that we are getting married in October. We have made plans, reserved the church, got plane tickets etc. He told me he will handle this and will tell them in his own way. I have talked to him about this and he tells me he will tell them soon. He wants to know if I really love him or if I just want to get married...when we talked about this today. I told him I loved him and wanted to spend my life w/ him. It seems like he is getting cold feet. What should I do about this? I suggested we not get married in October, but he says he wants to. He has never been happier in his life. He wants to live together before we get married, but he has not suggested this. I told him he could move in whenever he wants. I own a house he rents. Help!!

[Tony T]

1. "My fiance has not told his family yet that we are getting married in October. We have made plans, reserved the church, got plane tickets etc. He told me he will handle this and will tell them in his own way."

So what reason does he not give for letting his family in on this most important occasion in his life? Sounds very screwy to me.

2. "It seems like he is getting cold feet. What should I do about this?"

So if he's getting cold feet, why is he telling you he wants to get married in October? You're the one who suggested you not get married in October. Exactly who is getting cold feet? I'm not exactly understanding your question...what should you do about what? Exactly how is he getting cold feet...he is the one wanting to get married in October....you are the one who doesn't want to??????????????????/

3. "He has never been happier in his life. He wants to live together before we get married, but he has not suggested this."

So exactly how do you know he wants to live together before the two of you get married if he hasn't suggested it. Are you a mind reader? You ought to let him know about that?

Living together might not be a bad idea if you feel this guy is on the fense as far as marriage is concerned. But I personally think it's you who is hesitant, not him.

4. "I told him he could move in whenever he wants. I own a house he rents. Help!!"

Help with what? Does he need help moving?

I think your boss at work who is always spying on you is really getting to you. How about a nice vacation for the two of you...your guy and you...not your boss!

The only thing that bothers me about this whole thing is your guy's hesitation in disclosing this engagement to his family and friends. There's got to be some good reason for his reluctance to do so and if he won't tell you what that reason is, cancel the engagement. That, to me, is a major danger sign.

[velvet]

I know several who leave the wedding details all up to the women. Maybe you should brake it to his parents. You could even tell your man that your planning an engagement party and your inviting all the family and friends to celebrate.

Or just the two of you have serious talk. I agree that people should live together first. You want to be sure that you can first live together.