its been almost 4 months now since we broke up. initially i was full of anger,hurt, resentment and all that and i just wanted to move on badly. i still wanted him but he got himself a new girl and i realised i have to move on to be happy again.
i met new people, did new things, lost weight, feel so good about myself and recently i was dating this guy. in the beginning it felt great, it was a real confidence booster. the first kiss made me emotional that he wasnt my ex. after that the kiss was between me n him and the ex doesnt come to mind and it feels good. i like him and he seems really into me. then these past week ive been feeling strange about it. i didnt want to kiss him anymore and i didnt even like that we held hands. in the beginning i found him very attractive but now im not attracted to him anymore. i had to let him down and was straight up honest to him. i feel so bad n down right now that i have hurt him. i hate hurting people but it seems to be what i do best
i also realised that i have accepted that my ex is not coming back and that all anger and such has disappeared. i just feel sad. i miss my ex so much. its funny how in the beginning i was determine to move on but now as i feel myself moving on, i dont want to let go and i realise im making myself hold on to the past. Maybe its because im not ready but its ridiculous to hold onto something that is not good for you. ive been missing my ex so much lately. i just wish i had one last day with him. Why is it so hard to let go?
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