My exbf broke up with me 6 months ago. He started dating someone long distance a month later. They see each other once a month probably. Our kids are best friends so we do have some contact like we do with our ex spouses (at least cross paths once a week). At times, he's been flirty and I know he still cares about me. We just got involved at the wrong time (both were in middle of our divorces).
I had a death in my family and reached out to him because we were very close and really loved each other. He was very supportive and offered saying he would be there for me as a friend. I now have grieved for the family loss and want to get back to the life I was having before this happened.
I would get back with him if he was ready to start over as a fresh new couple, not the wounded people we were post divorce. I know I'm ready for a real relationship. Not sure about him because it seems he went into another relationship after our very painful breakup (rebound).
He texts me and emails me just asking how I'm doing. I feel like I need to go NC with him because I have other people in my life who support me too. We were great friends before we got involved. He was great while I was dealing with the death in my family. But it makes me sad that he won't give us another chance, and I realize I should not have looked to him to provide me support because he's not "the man" in my life anymore.
I do want him back someday when we're both ready. What should I do when he checks on how I'm doing? Do I keep him in my life as the friend he's offered to be (my hope is because his relationship is long distance, he'll realize it's not "real" the way he and I have been). Do I explain to him that I've recovered from my grief, thank him for his support, but tell him what I've realized and that I don't think our communicating is healthy for me since he's in another relationship? I don't want him to think I am ungrateful for his support and chucking him to the side now that I don't need it. Should I do something else? Any advice is appreciated.
Note that true NC is not possible because we live in a small town, I lead some activities that his daughter is in, and our daughters are best friends. At best, NC would be just not contacting him myself and coordination of activities for our daughters.
In a nutshell?
You treat him as a friend, and you move on.
Don't waste your life hanging around, wishing, hoping, wondering....
It might be a very long time before anything happens.
So why wait?
Put it behind you, file it away, turn the page, start a new chapter and any other idiom you might like to use....
Get over it, and start living.
__________________
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