Summer Dumpees!!! Still coping? Over it? Check in!
My boyfriend of one year broke up with me this summer. One day we were in love. The next it was over. He needed space. It's been four months now since that day. He never called again.
I was devastated.
But four months later I'm not anymore. There were many, many days I thought the pain would end me. Improbably enough, I lived. And even more amazing than that - I laugh. A lot. I now have more good moods than bad ones. I have plans - for tomorrow, next week, next month, next year - that do not involve my ex. That doesn't make me cry anymore.
NC was absolutely CRUCIAL for me and I doubt I would be where I am just sixteen weeks later if I hadn't decided very early on that I was not going to let this hurt me ONE SECOND LONGER than it had to.
My advice, besides complete and total NC, now that I'm 16 weeks wiser? Pay the pain bill. Endure the agony. There will still be stinging after-ripples sometimes, sure, but once the worst is over, so long as you protect yourself (NC*ahem*NC) you're FREE. It's gonna be agony, either now or later. Do it now and get your life back. I thought my healing was going to take months, a year even. Certainly not a puny 16 weeks.
So I'm checking in to see where my fellow summer dumpees are at. How are you feeling? Still pining? Having trouble with NC? Mostly over it? Let me cheer on - or congratulate - my brethren.
congratulations
I am still in 7th week, devastated, enduring the agony, hope it will soon be over. And I really want a clear mind without thinking about my ex any more. In last LDR, I lost my friends and myself. Now I am picking them up little by little. Maybe 9 more weeks to go....
I'm about 15.5 weeks in since being dumped and roughly 14 weeks NC with my ex. I'm still not over him yet but doing much better than the initial weeks where I was a complete mess. I imagine it might take a bit more time still as we were together for over 5 years. But, life moves on and so do I (just at my own pace).
Mayim, glad to hear that you're feeling much better
2 weeks 4 days. Still angry about alot. Sometimes I want her to know how horrible she has been. I don't call her though, and I don't email, etc. I am just enduring the pain, trying to make plans, trying to have fun.
Chipper as I sound I wouldn't quite say I'm 100% over him - I'm still not quite ready to date again, for example - but I don't wish to die anymore and that's exciting.
i11 - It WILL get better. There were days I'd sit at work feeling physically sick from the shock and grief. Lots of them. But you can do this. Sometimes all you can do is wake up, get through the day and go back to sleep. If you go NC, take good care of yourself, and try to make exciting projects out of picking up all those little pieces it will get better sooner than later, I promise.
Ingenue - 14 weeks NC is MAJOR. Good for you.
SoundTribe - Sorry to hear you're not feeling so great. The first few weeks are like being in one endless surgery with no anesthesia.
Sysy - You're doing great. Keep going just like you are and sooner than later you, too, will no longer wish to just evaporate and you'll be glad you did this, especially if she's as horrible as you say. Eff horrible people who don't deserve us anyway.
"I'm devastated! I'm distraught! I'm ... kind of glad you're not my problem anymore, actually." LOL.
Congrats! Onwards and upwards.
LOL! The last 8 months of our relationship he had the face of a permanently slapped arse. I hated being around him.
Now apparently he's even more misreble than ever. And I can proudly proclaim "It's not my fault he's misreble!"
I had to meet up with him the other week, I was telling him some funny story and he was laughing so much he had tears in his eyes - I thought "you didn't think my jokes were that funny a year ago!"
sixteen days nc, some days are good some days are bad. Ls has helped me so much God bless this forum. Althoughi don't know any of you personally it feels good to know that I'm not the only one feeling like crap inside and that there Is light at the end of this tunnel.
Almost four months into break up, about 2 months since NC. She's with guy#3 now (since she left me for guy#1). I have had slight urges to contact her, but I always stop myself. I still feel crappy. Cry every now and then. But I know it'll be a while before I'm over it. At least I'm moving in the right direction. Dunno what stage I'm in yet. Kinda leaning towards acceptance, but I know I still get angry and very depressed. All part of the grieving process.
5 months since, we cut nc a month ago. She said she misses me and loves me still blah blah blah. I told her what she wanted from me and she couldn't give me a straight answer. When I did NC, i deleted her facebook, blocked her etc and never talked to her again but somehow she had another account i forgot to block. so she always initiates conversations with me but i cant be bothered to talk to her much anymore. dont know what to do and she just cut it with guy #2. i have not cried over it and just sucked it up and built up my anger for the gym works wonders really.
2 months NC. Decided to NC him because I was too tired of the same old crap I was getting. I don't have any plans of speaking to him or try to win him over (again).
I feel like I've exhausted all my efforts and patience and there is nothing left for me to do.
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Summer Dumpees!!! Still coping? Over it? Check in!
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