[SoundTribe]

Is it normal after a break up to having feelings of inadequacy and a loss of self-esteem?

After my break up I felt very weak. I felt like I had been lucky to have been in a relationship with such an attractive girl. My biggest worry was that I would never be able to date a girl that hot again. I felt like she was cooler than me and I was just a loser. Is this normal?

[ahhhchooo]

It's normal to lack self esteem when you get dumped and question your self worth. NC will do wonders in helping you move on from the person, but if you want to rebuild that self esteem, get out and active.

Think what your ideal partner would look for in a man. Do you have those qualities? How can you achieve them? Go get them. If you're not doing that, what are you going to do instead? When you find that person, or they find you - are you going to be the person they are looking for?

[Arsenic_Child]

i had very low self esteem, i felt ugly and like no one wanted me. but i started to hit the gym. and boy i now feel better then i have ever felt in my life, im cut, fit and feel great. the main reason I'm doing this is not only for myself, but i want me ex to realize what she is missing out on

[Ingenue]

It's pretty normal. I had a miserable go after my break up. My self-esteem was shot, I felt horrible and thought that I'd never survive the break up. He was such a big part of my life for so many years that when it ended, I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself.

All I really remember (and I can sort of chuckle at this now) is when I received the dump email at work, I immediately called my friend to cancel dinner stating that I'd just been dumped and that I probably wasn't going to be very good company. And then I wished her well and hoped that her shopping went well. (strange the things you do when you're in shock).

Everybody promotes working out, but I was already working out daily prior to the break up and after it (I don't think it did much for me). But NC has done wonders for me and has helped me to establish the emotional and mental distance from the ex that I've needed to place my life in perspective again. I'm not 100% emotionally over him, but in terms of my self-esteem it's come back with a vengeance.

[EmperorR]

yup i feel the same, but then i slap myself and realize hey i talked to hotter sexier girls before my ex even though i dont even remember their names now lol.