[desertfire]

I broke up with my GF of 10 months because the situation turned into a stale-mate situation...

We have had a great time together and see eye to eye on everything.... I made a few mistakes here and there.. was a little untruthful about a couple of things, but nothing critical on the grand scale. It had to do with a couple of visits to my son (@ ex wife). She took it very personally and basically said that she doesn't love me or trust me anymore.

She then basically said that I needed to attend a personal skillbuilding seminar, and although my divorce papers are signed and being processed, she wants to have the court stamped final ones inhand and then give it time because she wants to see if I am really what she wants.

She turned to not calling me at all, saying that she doesn't want to make any moves and she doesn't chase anyone. I text her and call her.. she never answers and always gave me very short text message responses. This has been going on for several weeks.

A couple of weeks ago she blew me off to go out with an "acquaintance".. that had me quite upset.. and I started taking a good hard look at her in perspective.

So, today I basically told her that she was being unreasonable, that she needed to observe our relationship in terms of an "us" and that when two people truly love one another, they work through issues to get ahead and never lose the belief in the other.. and that the "belief" is what keeps the fire strong.

She basically got upset and said she didn't want to deal with me anymore after I told her to stop making excuses to justify why she was short with me and couldn't dignify me with a response... She took every opportunity to hammer me, calling me a liar and challenging everything...

I couldn't take it anymore so I basically made her get upset and say that she was done. It was the easiest way to make it happen.

I am having a hard time recovering from it... am wanting to basically run to her and hold her, but know I shouldn't.

Did I do the right thing? and what can I do to get past the break?

I really appreciate LS and all of you who can lend a hand...

[amaysngrace]

I would have to agree with you and your decision to cool it with her. She's being immature and unreasonable and she really doesn't seem to care about you very much. If she did she'd have forgiven you by now for being dishonest or whatever happened a while ago.

I'm sorry you're hurting but I think you did the right thing.

[Rafa]

I agree with amaysngrace, I think you did the right thing. It sounds a bit one-sided and not like two people in love. If you give in to this feeling of wanting to run to her I think you will just be giving her more license to be unreasonable and you'll end up feeling worse.
You seem to have a good handle on how relationships should be so trust yourself and your decisions.

[desertfire]

rafa and amaysngrace,

Thanks for your feedback and responses.

I appreciate your insight and it was reassuring to hear it. I am doing my best to steer clear of her and trying to keep a clear mind.

It is difficult. But that is nothing new to anyone...


She sent me an email where she outlines that she is so angry at me that she doesn't want to talk to me and that she says that she feels she needs to get her head on straight because she keeps hurting me with words she says and that is why she needs her space...

I haven't responded.. what do you think of this? Sounds sketchy...