[Sad&Lonely08]

It still hurts. Some days way more then others. Like today. Woke up in the room alone and cold. Wondering what my babies are doing. Thinking of how i was hte one who got them off every morning. Waking them with kisses on there face.Gettin E coffee togeteher. It feel so bad today. I feel like i am shaking in side and could bust out in tears any moment.

Then yesterday everyone i called no one was around. My phone did not ring all day.. I felt so down all weekend. Went out with the girls Sat night. Was ok. Coming home i heard a song on the radio and it made me lose it. Alli wanted to do was Get dropped off at E's house and crawl in bed and be held..

[TrustInYourself]

Sounds rough. Are you constantly thinking about this guy? That's not good for your health. Take care.

[Titan]

I feel for you as I am in the same way right now. Wy wife moved out 6 weeks ago and now wants a divorce. It's so lonely in the house and the only thing that keeps me warm when I sleep are my two dogs. I miss my wife so much, not being able to talk kills me. Sometimes I can't even listen to the radio because it brings back too many memories.

Anyway, I still have a long road of divorce ahead of me and I'm not looking forward to it. I'm just taking it one day at a time and trying not to think about what she's doing. That isn't going so well for me today

Right now I feel so hopeless, alone, scared - you name it.

[iluvpink]

It must be the weather or something - i've been separated for six months now, and he still hasn't told me why he left. Two months ago i thought i had it together and now i'm falling apart all over again - everything seems too hard. I just don't like being alone and can't stop crying all the time, i just want this to all go away. Your last line says it all Titan. Take care

[ilmw]

It comes in cycles..... you are at first weak... then you gain strength... it builds.... you are strong... and then you fall apart.... all over again..... it happens over and over again...... but

Each time you go through it.... it gets easier... take less time to recover... then one day..... You will know.... you will just know.... that you have had enough.

In the early days... you can not.... will not believe this..... you just can't...

But... it can and will happen.....

Find that inner strength... and keep it.... rely on it... be strong.

ilmw

[crushed66]

thanks ilmw, thats exactly what i need to hear.

my question is why do they come in circles?

[ilmw]

Originally Posted by crushed66

thanks ilmw, thats exactly what i need to hear.

my question is why do they come in circles?

In my own experience...

You can not always be strong... you do your best.... but sometimes we are tired... worn down.

We can get side swiped with "bad news"... your worst fears are revealed?? You have hope... but it waivers.... (hope to reconcile)? It can get to you.... this can crumble your resolve.....

You rise to the occasion .... but ... you can only fly for so long in the beginning... because you are not used to it....

Like beginning to run... you can only do so much at first... but as times goes on... and your body and mind get used to it... you gain strength and stamina.... you can go for longer.... and recover faster....

Are moods ebb and flow.... like a circadian rhythm..... in the early stages of separation and divorce.... that ebb and flow... is a *@%$..ing roller coaster ride.... of an extreme magnitude

But... like I said before... it begins to plateau ... steady out....over time. Time.... as in not months... but years. Its been 2.5 years since my original separation...about a year ago.... Divorced since May this year... with a approx 4 month reconciliation... which... was all smoke and mirrors ... and my ex's part...

The Divorce for me was the final straw... and was a whole bunch of other conflicted emotions.... but... that too... began to dissipate.... like the mist in the morning.... and by August.... I was done... No longer cared....

That is why... I am comfortable seeing others.... That is why I have been able to start a new relationship..... because.... I let go of the past.... It took me a while... was not a lot of fun.....

We all handle this differently.... as we are not all the same. But.. if you hold your head up high.... keep your dignity.... and take time to learn about you..... You can take this time .... and become a better you.

The last thing I ever wanted was to get divorced.... but... I gained something very special out of it... I got a new ME... who I really like...

I learned I have untapped reserves of strength...and... through a lot of self evaluation..... and reading and listening... and (ABSORBING) what was said to me.... I bought into it! I found out... I was a pretty cool person... who did not need to be with anyone.

It is all about time..... and patience. It is hard to be patient with your self... But it is in your best interest to learn it!

Ilmw

[PWSX3]

Originally Posted by crushed66

my question is why do they come in circles?

I am taking classes to help me understand some of this, to be with others that are going threw the same situation.
In the videos it said there are two ways of going through this? One is with extreme pain and the other is with excruciating pain,
there is no pain free way through this process but like Ilmw said; we grow stronger because of it & it will make us a better person.

Another thought is things such as songs, places, etc. bring up your past & maybe sometimes we didn't learn what we needed to learn so we get another chance at it.

One of my bike club members has been trying to help me, she feels that if we have the same situation come up that we need to deal with it in a different way that maybe the second time the turnout will be much better for us.

Just like the other day going to the store I saw an older couple walking out of the store hand & hand, it brought tears to my eyes. Why; I don't know I didn't know the people but it was just seeing two people in love and wondering; why did there marriage last so long & mine didn't????