[jules777]

I've been having a silent pity party for myself the last few months and I just need to post about it because I just can't verbalize how I feel to friends and family.

In the last year my boyfriend broke up with me, I battled serious illness, underwent surgery, was diagnosed with a chronic disease that has likely left me infertile, and turned 30 years old. I have battled, rallied, and have taken my life back. I'm an active and upbeat person and try to get the most out of life daily.

My best friend is pregnant. I am thrilled for her. My brother just got married and I love my new sister-in-law. Still, I can't help feeling sorry for myself. Tonight I went to a party that my best friend and her husband invited me to. It was ALL couples and there were three pregnant women. I had to leave early because I just felt lousy.

Any suggestions?

[Eve]

There just seems to have been SO much which has happened within the last year! Thank God you are only 30 and have a lot of scope to mark this down as probably one of the worst years in your life.. so far. If you are feeling very broody right now for a baby I would like to offer you a huge hug. I have experienced broodiness which is simply not funny - noone understands unless they have been here. I think its a base desire, like some sort of internal drive which is truly consuming. When in that place I allow myself one mother and baby magazine and a walk through Mothercare. It must be hard when you see so many people all happy and pregnant... BUT take note of all the things which you do have. Never stop dreaming, ever. Dream of having your own baby still. The Doctors have not said that you are 100% not able to have your own baby one day. Look at adoption for the future also..

I think that you have survived a lot on your own this last year and I think you have done REALLY, seriously well. As you said, you are an active and upbeat person and you try and get the most out of life daily.. I think this attitude has served you well and there is nothing wrong with taking time to lick your wounds and re-evaluate where you stand. Anyhow, you sound as though you have many positive people around you. Sometimes people are glad to be able to share things which are really happening for them so dont think that just because many within your circle are happy at the moment that you will somehow be a burden to them ..

Me? I would write down the positives and the negatives which have happened over the last year and find ways of satisfying any broodiness regarding children. One thing is for sure. When you are feeling better you are going to be needed to babysit quite a few babies. Maybe you may decide that you dont want to be a Mother after a few nights of babysitting?!! All I can say is try not to idealise anything. You have done exceptionally well and just think - one day when your future child (ok, we dont know how this is going to come about right now, but stay with me) is going to have their worst year ever...

I think you know the rest.. You will be fine. Just give yourself a bit more time. If you are still feeling this way in say 4 - 6 weeks please seek medical advice.