[little_devil]

I was with my bf for about 9 years. This year we broke up, because he told me he doesn't love me anymore. Breaking up took a few months, and it was devastating , I guess for both of us. Meanwhile I foundout he had an affair with a woman I don't know, a secret relationship which started (I'm not sure) at the beginning of the year. I was in shock, I left. Two weeks after I left his place, he started calling me. We eventually met, and he told me that he realized what I am to him, that he is trully sorry for what he did and that he would like to be with me for the rest of his life. When he came to see me he hadn't broke up with her, and told me he would need some time to do that, because she had divorced her husband to be with him. So now I'm waiting for him to solve his problem, meanwhile we are still separated, I told him that I don't want anything with him until he breaks up with her. I love him, too much I think. And I started to have real doubts about us...I don't know if I can get over what he did...shoul I even try to? I'm 30 yrs, and I would like to build a family, maybe kids....and now I am likely to invest a lot of time in rebuilding our relationship...but is it possible to get the trust back? I need advice, I am so confused...

[You'reasian]

Consider yourself lucky enough to have been with someone for 9 years. That being the case, you should know the guy well enough, right? Situation sounds confusing though...

good luck

[In Like Flynn]

Run away. First I don't love you anymore are big words you don't just say. Second he had an affair. And third his affair was with a married woman. What does that say about his charactor?? throw in that he needs time to break up with her??? What sex 20-30 more times then break up???

[sweet&simple]

I have to agree you should run..

I agree that no one says "I don't love you," unless they mean it. From the sound of things the married woman left her husband and now your bf is thinking "uhhhh this isn't what I wanted-- I wanted someone exciting to hook up with, sneak around with, build a fake relationship in my head with.. not commit to like she's expecting now."

You don't want this guy as the father of your children.. leaves you for someone else, has an affair with a married woman [which says a lotttt about his respect for family,] and really.. you'll probably never trust him completely.

[allanDR]

Tell him **** off. It won't work out. He'll just screw you over again. All he wants is confirmation that he can cheat on you, screw you over but still win. He just wants to know that he has power over you. There is no way this will work. Do not fall for his bull****. This is typical behavior. He ****ed up now let him deal with his actions on his own. Your love for him will most definitely fade in time.