Hi everyone, I posted something about blushing on the "Platonic" link but received no response, which is fine, because most people probably thought "what is she making such a big deal about?"
But I DO seek some input on the following matter, regardless of how insignificant is seems:
What do you do when you start blushing around the (married) man you have a crush on? I have no intention of acting on this crush, but whenever he comes near me, I blush. It's kind of humiliating.
Should I try to hide it, or just accept the fact that I'm blushing, that there's nothing I can do, and not try to hide it, just "get through it"?
Breathe.
I know it sounds odd, but you need to stop shallow-breathing - this adds to the red-facedness, the heightened anxiety, and the faster heartbeat.... all of which can happen at the same time as blushing.
You feel your face going red, and feel it getting hot, so maybe these other factors aren't evident to you.
But slowing and deepening your breathing, may help.
Relax and drop your shoulders, breathe deeply and tell yourself, it's no big deal.
Picture him picking his nose, or doing something equally disgusting - that all of us do, but really, not in public. Try to see him as just another human being.
But above all, relax the shoulders and breathe.
__________________
"Hatred never ceases through hatred, but hatred ceases by love alone. This is the essence of the ancient and eternal law."
"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts; with our thoughts, we make the world."
Thank you, Geishawhelk. What means most is that your response, about breathing and relaxing, is what I had in mind myself, as opposed to something like concealing the blush, or wearing more makeup so the blush doesn't stand out, or whatever. Trust me, the process of trying to conceal a blush makes me even more flustered and tense. I know from experience.
If I breath slow and deep, and relax my shoulders, and yet still blush anyway, I figure I did the best I could. I guess that's when I start imagining him picking his nose!
Most tricks will only minimize how long you blush. There's not much you can do to prevent the initial reaction; it's a physiological reaction to an emotional event (in your case, the cute guy coming near you). To stop it, you need to change your emotional response to the event, and we both know that ain't happening any time soon.
I know just how you feel; I blush at the drop of a hat. Some of the girls at work who have discovered this trait occasionally make a game of it. I've found there's not much I can do to stop the reaction, other than let it play out until they get tired of it. Fortunately for me, they've started implementing their own rules, so the more extreme events (for the workplace, anyway) are now forbidden.
I heard an interesting answer to blushing: when you feel that a blush is going to come on (maybe the person is getting close or whatever), you should deliberately try as hard as you can to blush. Yes, that's what I said. Concentrate on trying to make yourself blush. Paradoxically, this can often actually prevent it from happening. Good luck with this - I used to blush in a crippling way - but as I have grown older it just seems to have settled down with age (I'm 46 now and still blush when people make compliments etc)
I'm a blusher, although as the previous poster said, it doesn't happen so often now that I'm older (43). Used to be a major problem, prevented me from speaking up in meetings and making presentations. Crippled me with fear, actually. Sorry I wasted that time, those opportunities.
Funny thing is, I kind of miss it. Believe it or not, many people find it quite attractive (me included: I think it is VERY attractive when a man blushes). That is probably why these girls egg you on. Because you look cute when you blush.
Sorry, must have been fantasizing about men who blush! Been thinking about another thread (Girls Only). I now realize that OP is a girl - sorry and DUH, I'm a dope. In fact, I think I'm blushing right now
Now that I realize that you are female, I can pass on a little anecdote. When I was attending cooking school, I had an intense crush on one of my instructors, a tall, humorous, handsome chef from Switzerland. Anytime he came by my work station to look at my stock, pastry, whatever, I'd blush and stammer. One of these times, he stopped, looked at me with an irresistible smile and said, "So, there are still women who blush. How adorable." Then he winked at me.
Made me realize that my pink cheeks were charming, flattering to him, not silly or unattractive.
Yes, you give yourself away when you blush, but who cares? You're human, you're vulnerable, you have feelings, and you probably look adorable. How is that a bad thing?
Johnnyblaze, you made a good point in that the real cause of a blush is the core emotional response to the event. As you mentioned, that's not gonna change soon (if at all).
The relaxation techniques that Geishawelk mentioned won't prevent the intial reaction, but they'll sure as heck help me "get through" the blushing incident in a dignified manner. Half my problem is when I try to conceal it; it's often worse than the blush itself.
And like Annieo said, it's not so bad to be a blusher. Perhaps they'll think it's adorable.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Linear Mode
