I was very unhappy with the intimate side of my marriage and after, many,many talks, many, many fights finially just sat him down and let him know that I was unhappy had been for quite some time. I did not step out or cheat. I offered him a choice, either we opened the marriage so that both of us could have sex with others or that we would divorce as I couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life in this situation.He refused to open the marriage, I filed and he moved out 2 weeks ago.
When he needs to speak with me now he calls me names "filthy whore"" "the cum guzzling grannie" he's told everybody we know that I'm a used up, hungry for cock old slut. If I'd cheated on him, I'd have been labled a cheating filthy whore.. I don't cheat on him and I'm still a filthy whore ? what gives here?
Oh and for the record , he had a date from craig's list 2 days after he was served, the only place I've gone since that day is to work and the super market.
You wanted to see other people while being married, and to him, that's "filthy whore" behaviour. The name calling is hurtful, yes, but you did hurt him by giving him such an ultimatum.
What man would agree to something like this anyway?
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You wanted to see other people while being married, and to him, that's "filthy whore" behaviour. The name calling is hurtful, yes, but you did hurt him by giving him such an ultimatum.
What man would agree to something like this anyway?
Our marriage was sexless, he felt I had grown "too old" to arouse him sexually
he expected that I would accept that I was "finished at 50" and continue to be
like a kind,generous supportive room mate while remaining married and faithful.
Our marriage was sexless, he felt I had grown "too old" to arouse him sexually
he expected that I would accept that I was "finished at 50" and continue to be
like a kind,generous supportive room mate while remaining married and faithful.
You are entitled to your reasons for wanting to divorce him. All I'm saying is that putting such an ultimatum to a man is risky. Surely you must've known that he might respond with such venom. He's being an a@s for sure. But you have to accept that he's just reacting to the hurt of being given such an ultimatum. You chose him over sex and physical affection (which is your prerogative), but you have you accept that he'll lash out.
Then again, if he wants to play dirty, perhaps you should inform those that matter of the details (some anyway). That way, you won't lose friends over this.
You are entitled to your reasons for wanting to divorce him. All I'm saying is that putting such an ultimatum to a man is risky. Surely you must've known that he might respond with such venom. He's being an a@s for sure. But you have to accept that he's just reacting to the hurt of being given such an ultimatum. You chose him over sex and physical affection (which is your prerogative), but you have you accept that he'll lash out.
Then again, if he wants to play dirty, perhaps you should inform those that matter of the details (some anyway). That way, you won't lose friends over this.
I guess I don't understand, I tried to work our problems out, the offer of an open marriage was a last ditch effort to stay married, how can you sit there and flat out refuse sexually intimacy to a spouse but then get angry and call them foul names because they refuse to agree to live out the rest of their life without intimacy?
As far as I'm concerned, he ended the marriage, I just made it offical.
I guess I don't understand, I tried to work our problems out, the offer of an open marriage was a last ditch effort to stay married, how can you sit there and flat out refuse sexually intimacy to a spouse but then get angry and call them foul names because they refuse to agree to live out the rest of their life without intimacy?
As far as I'm concerned, he ended the marriage, I just made it offical.
I guess you made the mistake of giving him the choice (rather than just walk out on him). He is selfish and cruel, yes...but you set the ball in motion by asking for what you did.
Now that it's done, you have to maintain your dignity. When I said give details earlier, I meant to say that you should talk to your friends (those you trust). With everyone else, just tell them he's a crazy jerk.
I guess you made the mistake of giving him the choice (rather than just walk out on him). He is selfish and cruel, yes...but you set the ball in motion by asking for what you did.
Now that it's done, you have to maintain your dignity. When I said give details earlier, I meant to say that you should talk to your friends (those you trust). With everyone else, just tell them he's a crazy jerk.
So I'd be a filthy no good whore if I'd cheated and I'm a filthy no good whore because I didn't?
I don't understand that, don't understand it at all, I was on the sofa for the last 1 yr of our marriage, my requesting to open the marriage was a last ditch effort at giving him a wake up call,that this gets fixed one way or another or we are done.
I'm reading about how all the spouse here that were cheated on would have so prefered that the cheating spouse be totally honest with them BEFORE resorting to an affair, how they might have parted anyways but it would have been on better terms. My husband didn't want me but he responded to honesty in the exact same way he would if I'd cheated?
So I'd be a filthy no good whore if I'd cheated and I'm a filthy no good whore because I didn't?
I don't understand that, don't understand it at all, I was on the sofa for the last 1 yr of our marriage, my requesting to open the marriage was a last ditch effort at giving him a wake up call,that this gets fixed one way or another or we are done.
I'm reading about how all the spouse here that were cheated on would have so prefered that the cheating spouse be totally honest with them BEFORE resorting to an affair, how they might have parted anyways but it would have been on better terms. My husband didn't want me but he responded to honesty in the exact same way he would if I'd cheated?
You could've chosen to just leave him (after asking him to consider sex). To him, it doesn't matter that you didn't cheat (he probably sees it as being the same).
It must be very difficult for you to hear him say those things about you. Just remind yourself that he's an angry little man who is nursing a very bruised ego.
Ocean, this went on for a while and he was VERY blunt and cruel with her and she finally suggested this as a last ditch effort. His ego was not bruised,he refused to have sex with her and said equally insulting things about her unattractiveness due to age, etc BEFORE she filed for divorce and BEFORE she suggested open marriage.
WHY he continues to berate her is one puzzle. The other is why she continues to give any credence to the venomous spewings of an overtly cruel as**ole who obviously has no interest in her other than to try to destroy any self-esteem she may yet be clinging to.
soserious, you are free to do so now. I think it is time for you to look for an actual HUMAN male to interact with. They are out there!!!!!!!
Can you expound a bit on why he denies you intimacy. I know you said that he didn't desire you any longer but what have you done to make yourself happier and more desireable within yourself? Also, what is his medical state? I suspect there's more to this story than you've let on so don't be surprised by the narrow perspective of responses you'll receive based upon the information you've presented thus far.
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"I put my Gucci watch on, synchronize the time, and let's rock....LET'S ROCK"!
Ocean, this went on for a while and he was VERY blunt and cruel with her and she finally suggested this as a last ditch effort. His ego was not bruised,he refused to have sex with her and said equally insulting things about her unattractiveness due to age, etc BEFORE she filed for divorce and BEFORE she suggested open marriage.
WHY he continues to berate her is one puzzle. The other is why she continues to give any credence to the venomous spewings of an overtly cruel as**ole who obviously has no interest in her other than to try to destroy any self-esteem she may yet be clinging to.
soserious, you are free to do so now. I think it is time for you to look for an actual HUMAN male to interact with. They are out there!!!!!!!
I see.
That should give the OP more incentive to not give any credence to what this person has said and is saying to her.
Soserious, he is wrong. Wanting sex doesnt make someone "filthy". Sexual desrire is normal and healthy. He betrayed you by withholding sex. 50 is still young!
Ocean, this went on for a while and he was VERY blunt and cruel with her and she finally suggested this as a last ditch effort. His ego was not bruised,he refused to have sex with her and said equally insulting things about her unattractiveness due to age, etc BEFORE she filed for divorce and BEFORE she suggested open marriage.
WHY he continues to berate her is one puzzle. The other is why she continues to give any credence to the venomous spewings of an overtly cruel as**ole who obviously has no interest in her other than to try to destroy any self-esteem she may yet be clinging to.
soserious, you are free to do so now. I think it is time for you to look for an actual HUMAN male to interact with. They are out there!!!!!!!
Hold up there is always two sides to every story and maybe he didn't see the problems in your marriage as clearly as you did. Does it really shock people that during a divorce things tend to ugly? I am not saying he is in the right just sometimes things are more complicated then they seem. Look at it from his point of view, you basically sat him down and said either you let me bang other guys or I am out.
I don't know how long you two were married but after a few years things do slow down. Did you ever sit down and actually talk with him? I didn't read your back story but I do know that nothing is more degrading to a man then his wife saying she wants other men.
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